Hi, 

I am in the same boat. It has been a emotional roller coaster. The fear of the unknown , the so called treatments and the side effects have left me in a tailspin.

My cancer is small, and I have decided to do Active Surveillance. The other option recommended was a prostectamy .

I sm just not ready for such extreme treatment. At this stage of my journey I am more afraid of the side effects then I am of the cancer.

My children are adults. They were "kept in the dark" - as I did not want them to be worried. Only once the cancer was diagnosed did I eventually inform them - they instinctively knew something was not right  - so they were worried about me in any case.

Not sure how I would inform young children

My wife and daughters originally wanted me to have surgery.

I talked to them about my fears and concerns - especially the risk of side effects. A conversation that I never thought I would have with my daughters. They know about very personal and intimate things about me and my Mr Wills.

They now understand my fears of, Erectile disfunction, incontinence, fatigue, depression - to but name a few.

They also realise that Active Surveillance is a form of treatment.It may be only a couple of years, or it could be 10 years, before I would need to decide on another form of treatment.

I can only advise you not to rush into any decision.Tske uour time, communicate openly with your partner and children - depending on there age. 

I feel that if they are young there is no need for them to have the details.Maybe just let them know you are unwell. Therapy was a great help for me.

My parents live abroad, and I have not informed them. They are elderly and I do not want them to stress.Should my position change to a more aggressive cancer, and my times up - then yes I will inform them.

Be strong, have courage - it's not easy. Mentally you will be all over the place. Have a good cry - go for walks or a run.Its important to clear the mind.

Be present with your partner and children.Stay connected.

Try not to use Dr Google - a lot of misinformation.

The various cancer sites are informative - Their is a prostate cancer specific site. Gives good info.

Talking helps - and this comes from a self confessed non talker/ sharer.

I am here if you need to chat, rant, moan or simply just to cry.

Take care if yourself.

Mack Mack

Mack Mack

Your very kind .. thanks for taking the time to reply .. that's really helped 

My children are older but only one is at home. I'm going to spea to them both, face to face 

Thanks again .. and take care of yourself, too

Hi Mack Mack

So my biopsy details are as follows ..

Gleason Score 3+4 

CPG 2

T2

Active monitoring

Hi guys horrible  hearing Al these stories of what people  are going through  I was diagnosed  stage 2 g/s  3+4   in mid December  I'm aged 56 with 2 grown up boys I only met my now wife 6 years ago been married for 2  I was only offered radiation  or prostatectomy  I like most went into panic stations but after sitting down with the people  I love I decided  operation  take it out rather then spend the rest off my life worrying about it yes there are battles ahead and it could take a while but I've hot people who love and want me to get old with them operation was 10 days ago hope this helps you if only in z small way good luck guys

Always a difficult choice. I was Gleason 4+5 in 2021, but all within the prostate. At over 70 surgery was not an option. ERT over 28 days, preceeded and followed by hormonal therapy. Yes, unfortunate side effects (usual ED but I am old!). PSA levels at 3 years just as should be. So, bought me a few extra years at very little cost. ERT was easy  -  I continued cycling every day throughout!

Kept adult children and my then quite new partner (my wife had died of cancer in 2018) fully informed. Did the putting affairs in order thing.

Guess I'm lucky in that I consider I have had "a good innings". I now have strong possibility of recurring cancer elsewhere. I shall not accept any invasive treatment if that is required and have joined Dignitas  -  luckily I can afford the 15 grand trip to Switzerland.

We all deal with this bad stuff in our own ways. It must be harder the younger one is.  

Watchful surveillance a valid choice  -  be sure that you get the necessary checks exactly when you should. 

Good luck.