I can’t express in words just how deeply sad and heartbroken I am at the minute. My poor mum who’s only in her 50s went to the GP with what felt like a pulled muscle in her side. This turned out to be an aggressive tumour on her lung, with further scans showing some lesions on bones and signs of liver damage too. She is still due to get further tests and agree a treatment plan, but from this initial appointment they made it very clear this was bad news.

I am finding it so difficult to process the fact I might loose my poor mum when I myself am only 27 and feel like I still sorely need her. She doesn’t want to go yet and feels so helpless to it all. I sometimes catch her googling things in relation to prognosis or viability of certain treatments, and I just wish the hospital would get back in touch with some further information to her. She is a fighter but I can see how scared she is in her face which is heartbreaking to see too. I want to try and figure out the best ways to help her through this as well as navigate my grief for the future I thought we would have together. Neither I nor my siblings really know what to do.

I’m not really sure what I want out of posting this, but I guess some reassurance on what to do next would be appreciated. I go through cycles of feeling totally numb, to crying uncontrollably for hours - but I know I will need to strengthen up if I am going to be there for her.