Newly diagnosed with oesophageal cancer and the Fear

Hi I was diagnosed with oesophageal cancer last month and I have had a laparoscopy and having an endoscopic ultrasound tomorrow. I wondered if anyone has any ideas how I can help the absolute overwhelming fear that I am experiencing. I am having really bad dreams and hardly sleeping. The smallest mention of cancer on TV sends me into a panic and I am so worried about upsetting my wife and 20 year old son. It seems to never leave my thoughts. 

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  • Hi I am having the same procedure on Wednesday I have found it doesn't matter what anybody says the fear is constantly with you ,I am the same ,I don't switch off at night neither.I think my fear is to find out what stage i am at.Hope you find something to help you .

  • Its all constant fear. I know its not happening to me, but my son, but its constant fear as to what theyre going to say. My son will be told the stage soon as well but hasn't got appointment through yet. Keep googling what I know so far about his tumour size and no spread etc to try and predict - it's driving me mad!

  • Suki good luck with the stent. Sorry I know nothing about them. 
    Marc, that is one of the worst things straight after. You manage to get into bed , one stand on one side one on the other you’re not comfortable and you can’t move. They should stress this more in that pre hab. You need arm strength and leg strength to attempt to adjust yourself. Try and shove up on those things that stop you falling out of bed 

  • Hi Karen. It will be 4 weeks since my op tomorrow and I’m ok. I have been sleeping a lot better in the last few days as the pain is wearing off. Once the initial numbness wears off it becomes quite uncomfortable and i needed lots of pain killers. I am down to just two lots a day. Eating is a bit better since I’m on a soft diet. It’s just a case of getting used to the frequency of eating. I have a very croaky voice since the op as my vocal cords may have been bruised by one of the tubes I had in. I started driving yesterday and it was great to have the freedom again. I hope your son is doing okay. Take care Marc

  • Hi Marc. Great, sounds like you're making good progress. Good you can sleep well now.

    Did you have a feeding tube in for a week or so after the op? What painkillers do they give you?

    Dean has can this Wednesday & sees surgeon on 8th. His op may be1st August but may be put back as he's currently got another infection. He's had 7 infections in the feeding tube they talked him into having in early Feb just incase he was unable to get anything down - luckily thats not happened but the tube has been a right nuisance. 7 lots of antibiotics. He asked them to take it out and was told no because you need it for after the op they said.

    I know it'll all be sorted and he'll be ok but it's just a lot of stress & worry isn't it.

    Anyway you keep on feeling better & better!

  • Hi. I didn’t have a feeding tube. It seems to vary from Hospital to hospital. Hopefully they will take it out asap. Good luck. 

  • Hello Marc 

    Pleased to hear you are making good progress post op. I welled up when read your post. Rooting for you.

    Best wishes RB

  • Hi Karren 

    I can only imagine how worried you are about Dean. We feel just the same as when they were small dont we as Mums?  

    Is it a gastronomy tube ? 

    So many infections sound a real downer physically and emotionally.

    Here if you need chats 

    Hoping things go well for Dean

    Look after yourself too

    Kind wishes

    RB

  • Thats good then. He's going to ask surgeon next Tuesday. You keep going onwards & upwards!

  • Hi. Its a jejunal tube. He's not had to even use it - definitely happy about that obviously but 7 infections since 10th Feb. I don't think surgeon will agree to removing it till after hes eating after the op. He asked her about taking it out after infection number 4 and it was a 'No'. I don't know how he stays so chipper most of the time. I suppose its a case of gritting teeth and carrying on just wanting to get through it.

    I do worry yes - all the time. Its great when theres good news like ability to swallow proper food. He's maintained his weight the last couple of months, still 110kg so not exactly skinny!

    Anyway, you take care of yourself & hubby.x

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  • Hi. Its a jejunal tube. He's not had to even use it - definitely happy about that obviously but 7 infections since 10th Feb. I don't think surgeon will agree to removing it till after hes eating after the op. He asked her about taking it out after infection number 4 and it was a 'No'. I don't know how he stays so chipper most of the time. I suppose its a case of gritting teeth and carrying on just wanting to get through it.

    I do worry yes - all the time. Its great when theres good news like ability to swallow proper food. He's maintained his weight the last couple of months, still 110kg so not exactly skinny!

    Anyway, you take care of yourself & hubby.x

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