Hi all so today I am now sitting outside the Cancer unit  and about to go in and have my CT scan done to see how the chemo has gone. I’m so scared of it as it’s yet another result to wait for. The operation absolutely terrifies me however so does not being able to have it. This silly damn disease just turns people into irrational looneys. You ladies that care are the most important people in our lives and it sometimes just needs a hand hold and nothing more. Our moods are up and down constantly and any time we seem irritable or just a moody git really is not meant against you. Sometimes just going through the doors of the hospital is so horrible but we try and pretend it’s ok. Thank you for all you do 

Hello Boxbrain0

Just picked up your message and I am moved at your words.

And want to say here for handholding venting hysterical laughter ( more me probably eek)

And any other shares.

I hope the CT scan brings good news / and the Cancer is doing a runner for you 

Sending Hugs

RB x

Everything you say I can identify with as I see it with Dean. He's been a right mardy git many times - still he was even before all this!

I hope you get really great results from your scan. As you have been able to eat so much more easily I'd take that as a very good sign its shrunk, but I get it that you don't try and anticipate with this.

Deans terrified of the op as well & I understand why. On the one hand you're 'lucky' if you can have it as so many can't but it looks an ordeal. At least you will have an amazing story to tell for years to come once you are through this part of it. I was only thinking this morning if only we could fast forward 12 - 18 months and it all be behind us.  

Hi Karen

Oh yep mood swings especially from steroids not fun to be on receiving end and horrible for our loved ones going through it.

A heads up the cancer and the chemo can cause low iron /anaemia which can add to the fatigue .

Hubby having to have blood transfusions to bring it back up so bare in mind and keep checking blood results.

Obviously not being able to eat a good diet doesnt help either.

Fear of the operation is understandable its not a small thing to undergo. Its not an option for hubby so cant say more than that.

Re looking back 

We have been on this path for over a year you quickly become all about the cancer and adapt to things but 

I see we are still dealing with "the new" every day

Sometimes it wears you out and you really dont "get it right" for your

Loved one but we are doing our best and we are all human.

..ultimately it really is one day at a time 

Id say 

Do stuff to keep you a float cos its a long road.so you dont lose yourself and also gives you the energy to be there.

I take my hat off to anyone enduring cancer treatments they are all awful grueling and traumatic. 

Strength to everyone

RB

Hi all. 
Hope everyone is as well as they can be. 
I can’t remember when I last posted on here , I’m assuming it was before the operation. 
im out after 11 nights in hospital im told I recovered extremely well. I won’t go into any gory details unless asked.  I’ve got a pipe for evening feeding ( 15 hrs drip fed with my own portable stand )  and I can eat what is described as sloppy food.

Shortneass of breath is a bit of a *** but I think that part of that is psychological. 
Once I’ve recovered enough it’s back to the chemo for another 2 months. 
typically my body hair has just started to regrow

Hi Mouser good to hear from you :⁠-⁠)

How is it being home ?

Sending best wishes

RB

It’s great to be out as it’s another box ticked off on the recovery road. 
I’ve had to get a book so I can write down what tablets I’ve had and when. 
Have to crush them and dissolve in water before drinking them down. 
Had my top off in the garden today thinking that the sun will help heal the scars and where the lung and abdominal drains where. 
kept family away while I was in there and now they’ve all been round to visit which was lovely. 
can’t beat sleeping in your own bed even if it is only 2 hours at a time x

It’s so very good to hear that you are home and able to enjoy the weather a little. I have used you as a sort of barometer or benchmark as I will get my ct results on Thursday from my oncologist and find out when the op is as it’s been 3 weeks since my last chemo. I’m bloody terrified of the operation but hearing that you are doing ok is great and gives me a little peace of mind. 

Thanks Rhubarbdragon I’ve a few that are liquid. 
I can actually crush them and use a syringe to feed them down the feed tube. 
Boxbrain, yes, I was bricking it myself but once you get a date you end up just wanting to get it over with. You just turn up and let the experts crack on. They know what they are doing.

its a short day for us as we know nothing about it  

we go to sleep and wake up a second later 

it is an awful long time for partners and family 

Mine was 8 Weeks after last chemo. If that helps