Shell shocked - just found out I have breast cancer

Hello,

I found out yesterday that I have breast cancer. I'm not sure what my treatment will be yet but I'm very scared. I have a 15 year old daughter who asked why I was so sad. I pretended I was missing ny son who's away as part of his gap year. I don't know what/ when to tell her. It breaks my heart to think of that conversation. My husband is being a tower of strength. I've taken a couple of days off work - I'm a primary school teacher - but I'm wondering how I'm going to face my class at the end of the week. It's all so surreal.

  • Hi, I’m sorry to hear you have been diagnosed too. I found out myself 4 weeks ago.  Waves of tears daily and almost constant the first 2 weeks but I am improving. The tiredness from sleepless nights worrying about what lies ahead doesn’t help. I have days where I feel strong the others whee I have meltdowns. Emotions are all over the place. My husband told our children as I didn’t want them to see me crying. Everyone says the waiting is the hardest bit. Even now I keep thinking maybe they got it wrong.

    i found reading real accounts on here and other groups helped. Those ladies have been through/are going through it and I can relate to what they have experienced. It is a shock and takes some processing but medicine has come so far. You will have better days and there will be more of them.

  • Thanks for the reply. I've been tired today which I think is due to stress. I'm going to try to fo some work tomorrow to focus on other things it sounds like you have a lovely husband and family. I'm grateful for my husband being my rock. I met a lady yesterday whose husband died ladt year. I can't imagine going through alone.

    I hope you have a good sleep tonight and a good day tomorrow. 

  • Sorry to hear your news. I had my breast diagnosis a week ago. I started with panic then sadness then more panic. I’ve told my grown up kids and a couple of people at work. Haven’t cried yet so that’s an epic moment in the waiting. I’m not telling anyone else before my second biopsy results as I know other people will ask 20 questions where my family just accepted what I said no questions asked. I found a lady on here who was diagnosed same day as me so we are private messaging. Happy to message with you if you want to tag team. I was told I needed to think of me now and same for you. Seeing the beauty of children every day would probably make me emotional-luckily most of my staff are grumpy and old so I’m quite grounded!! Keep going one day at a time one hour at a time 

  • So sorry to hear of your diagnosis. The waiting is the worst,  I was diagnosed on 2nd Oct, had surgery on 28th (I had a mastectomy) had what i believed to be  4 lymph nodes removed but after pathology results it was 12 lymph nodes, 10 of which had cancer. I was doing well after surgery and upbeat and coping much better than I expected but getting that news I felt like I did when I got my initial breast cancer diagnosis. I've now to get a CT scan and further surgery to remove the rest of my lymph nodes. It is a scary journey and it's a roller coaster of emotions and a lot of sleepless nights. But honestly try and take positives out of everything. I'm feeling lucky that I had a couple of lymph nodes that were cancer free so hoping it's not spread. Also I've heard of so many people that I know but didn't realise have had BC and are doing so well after their treatment. Even my nurse in theatre told me she had BC last year, had same op as me and now back at euro and doing great! Wishing you well and try just take things a day at a time, hope you manage to get more of a  proper sleep and rest.

  • Wow that was a quick ride from diagnosis to operation. When you can talk to others it helps you not feel quite so alone even though it’s your own personal battle

  • Very quick, still feels surreal! Went from never having had a general anesthetic in my life to having 2 on the same day!! Had to go back into heatre after my op as there was an issue with my drain so had to get another procedure under GA in same day! 

  • Hi I was diagnosed with inflammatory bc on the 8th October.  I will be 71 in January.  Luckily I've never needed medications all my life and never had a general anesthetic too so this has come as quite a shock.  Had CT scan which showed no spread anywhere else.  I have to have my chemo treatment first - 6 cycles docetaxel carboplatin and phesgo - with bisphosonate treatment once I've had dental check.  Then mastectomy with no reconstruction and lymph node clearance.  Fast forward 4 weeks and just had first round of chemo on Friday.  Won't lie knocked me for six next day - just bad man flu really but could not keep my eyes open for long.  Feeling a bit better today just squeezy thank goodness for the anti sickness pills.  It is alarming the amount of medication they give you but if it does the job I've no complaints.  Hope you are OK just keep saying to myself I will do this.  Just trying to sort a wig now ready for the inevitable.

    Xxx

  • I too opted for mastectomy without reconstruction as it meant I wouldn't get my op to nearer Xmas as it's a longer wait for that op, instead I can go on reconstruction waiting list (approx 2yrs) bit my priority is to get well first and foremost. Great news about your CT scan, and you sound live you have a positive attitude coping with this and the treatment plan. Honestly the thought of a GA really scared me as I'd never had one before (im 57) but I was pleasantly surprised how it all went. Even the surgery not as bad as I'd imagined either. Be 2 weeks tomorrow since surgery and I feel absolutely fine. Wound still healing. But im able to do my exercises as directed by the breast clinic team so I dont get a frozen shoulder. Wish you well for rest of your treatment and your op.You might not need a wig, they can give you cold caps to try prevent the loss, I don't actually know what they are but I was told this and know someone who went thro chemo without losing her hair. Wishing you all the very best xx

  • Hi   

    Unfortunately the cold cap won't work if you've already started treatment.  You have to have it from day one but it does extend your treatment time quite considerably as it needs to be on and reached temperature about 30 mins before treatment then stay on for a further 45 minutes after treatment for full effectiveness.  Once you've had a treatment without cold cap though, the chemo is already in your blood stream so the cold cap wouldn't work.  I understand they have to fit really well too to be fully effective and if they don't you could still lose your hair but in patches.  Once I found out more about it prior to my treatment, I didn't bother with it.  I felt I was in the hospital for treatment long enough without extending it for another hour or more.  But everyone's different and it works really well for some people.  

    I lost all my hair on docetaxel/carbo combi then when I moved on to EC for 4 treatments, I lost eyebrows and eyelashes too.  I looked fab (sarcasm) lol.  Wigs are great though and don't forget to speak to your Macmillan centre as they will give you a voucher towards the cost of a wig. Once treatment finishes you'll be surprised just how quickly everything starts to grow back.  It's been quite an adventure watching my hair grow back a completely different colour! 

    Good luck with all the treatment and I truly hope it all goes well for you.

    Carol xx

  • Thank you so much for the info and insight. Wow that's a revelation of a new hair colour too! For me the most important part of this journey is to get well again, hair loss and side effects are second to that. Hope you are keeping well and again thanks for clarification about the cold caps, always good to hear from people who have experienced it and able to share their story. All the very best x