I have recently posted articles about my wife's treatment for ovarian cancer at the start of the year. This is where the good news that although the chemotherapy had inactivated all of the identified cancer where it had spread also continues to have the normal CA125 levels as well as the liver and kidney functions are also within defined values, her mental health has suffered terribly with flashback and shows no signs of abating anytime soon. The doctor has also given her an average lifetime expectancy based on someone else her age who has not got cancer.

To cut a long story short, she is blaming herself for not picking what she thinks were early-stage symptoms towards the end of 2023 and is believing that if she had gone to the GP at that time then her condition could had been cured or had an operation to remove as much of the cancer as possible. The thing was that like most other women who are diagnosed with this deadly condition is that the symptoms appear when it has spread within the abdomen and possibly elsewhere making it harder (but not impossible) to treat. Naturally, she is concerned that the cancer could return given that it was a stage 3 diagnosis that she had received but the most significant issue that is undermining her self-confidence is that she is still stuck in the period before the treatment had begun and not realise now that she is free of symptoms. It is created a culture of self-blame and post traumatic shock disorder.

One of the issues that I am personally struggling with is that I have the relentless 'what-if' hindsight questions which I cannot answer simply because I don't know. I am getting this both day and night and hence are now struggling to get a decent night's sleep and also have this sense of guilt (after being made redundant in September) that I cannot go back to work because she feels that she needs me at home.

We have been to the GP, spoken to the many cancer charities, Samaritans, MacMillan Hope Course, etc. and all of them have told her that she needs to accept her current prognosis and be more positive in going forwards with her life but the message is not getting through. I just feel as her husband that I wish I could change her mindset over this and many of the mental problems that she has got will go away. She has also been booked on Talking Therapies which deals directly with Cognitive Behaviour Therapy where this could be her last hope to get through. She is also taking anti-depressants and some sleeping tablets which so far have not had much effect.

I am currently struggling myself with mental health against the backdrop of high blood pressure with heart disease being heridatry in my family and have sought help from the GP as well as for CBT. I was wondering if there was anybody else who out there who has experienced this with a partner or loved one and how they had got through it.