Hi sorry to hear that. Im a 61 year old male had Bowel Cancer Feb 2024 operation to remove low down lemon sized tumour. Also had perm stoma bag fitted and have had 12 rounds of bi weekly chemo (Flufox drug) since then over 6 months and just completed it.  Aw scan to check if any spread etc. Re the post op - I used to walk 15-20k steps a day and would consider myself very active and very positive about everything. Positivity (I know its diffficult) is a real help. I have young grandchildren and was only ever worried about them and my 2 boys but put my thought into positive mode about them.  Re the after effects of op - I was in for a week then took about 3/4 weeks of rest on a downstairs bed at home. This helped alot. My partner was there aswell which helped.  Because of the sealing up of my rectum that was really only pain I had and not able to sit straight on it was awkward and tbf still is at mo although not quite as bad - I think the chemo doesnt help it to heal wonderfully well. The stoma was a planned thing although they tried to do a temp one during op - which  I had specifically said I didnt want as unlikely to last temp / just thought perm one was for best no further ops hopefully. Ive not had any isue with stoma at all apart from one day where it protruded for about 2 iinches went to A and E and Dr checked not a hernia etc and then by putting warm or cold water on it it went back and not had same problem since. My walking has dwindled last 3 months due to tiredness from chemo but hoping to get that going again. As far as chemo concerned every 2 weeks for 12 for about 3 hours at a time. Afterwards 3 days or so after very tired and stoma bag doesnt fill for 2 or 3 further days - hospital gave me a laxative which seemed to work a bit. Re skin around stoma - ive not had any issues with soreness. Make sure bag is cut right size I have mine just wider than the stoma - I change it once a day generally and have only had 1 leak. There are skin ointments that you can use to make skin a bit better around it - I havent had to use any. If you call the Stoma nurses they have been fantastic by me. I hope some of this helps but main thing is telling her to keep positive always think of good things (difficult I know) - I always said there are people worse off than me - I saw them in Chemo. The chemo was difficult near the end but I was determined to complete it and now hopefully I will get all clear. Good luck to your mum I hope I have been some help but feel free to ask anything else.              

Thank you for your reply and taking the time to be so comprehensive. I'm so pleased you've been able to get through chemo - I hope you get the all clear. After I wrote this blog my mum was rushed to A&E with a pelvic abscess which we subsequently found was caused by contracting treatment resistance E.Coli in hospital and she developed septic shock and her kidneys started failing. We got there just in time. She's on the mend but much slower. We are not sure she will be well enough to do preventative chemo within the 3 month required window.