Finally diagnosed on 17 September. First problem I had was in 2021. I had a very sharp pain on the lower left hand side, my girlfriend is a very experienced doctor, she did the little test, by pushing with her fingers firmly and quickly I said a sincere ouch and she said I think you may have diverticulitis. I had never heard of that. Went to the doctor (the surgery was taken over by a bunch of young doctors a coupler of years ago, the previous owner, I knew him and he was my doctor since he started at that location, in the 80s, he was not the best doctor, I knew that. He did have some experience, the group of newish young doctors do not have a lot of experience) when I told him what my girlfriend had said he too did the diverticulitis test, but he pushed feebly, I said a feeble ouch. I knew he did not do that test correctly. He sent me off home with prescription for fibre, and for laxative, I said, I know I must go to the hospital, I just know it. He said well, let's see, etc, etc. Next day I knew even more that I needed to get to hospital I had never had such a sharp pain before, you do know yourself after all. So I phoned, he was absent, I told another doctor there that I knew I must get to hospital, she said, well you must come back here first though because I must do a blood test to see if you have any infection in your blood. It meant getting on my bike for the third time, over the bumpy streets. Got there she did the test, the values were 80, when the max is 10, I think it was, she then said, you must go to the A&E immediately, go home as fast as you can, grab a few clothes and get a taxi to A&E, I got back on my bike to go home, this was 4 times across the bumpy street. Got to A& E and they quickly put me on an antibiotics infusion. I stayed some days in which time they discovered I had a perforated bowel that had covered itself over, exactly when I don't know.

So my Dr had forgotten to perform the one test he needed to. I doubted his ability from then on. I had my inner voice telling me to get shot of him and to go to a new doctor but I did not and I so regret not listening to my guy instinct.

For near on 3 years I tried to get help through him but I now know that he should not be practicing medicine as he is in my opinion incompetent. All of the messages between him and myself, me telling him that he gastroenterologist had told me if you have any further trouble come back to us, I told him this repeatedly yet he just kept giving me tablets , and laxatives. Finally it was my girlfriend who told me, ask for a referral for this test. Nothing came out of it, she said right now ask for a referral for a gastroscopic test.

They found nothing then she said okay now get a referral for an echo abdomen. It was this that something was visible they were not sure what so they did a CT scan in which they detected/saw that I had cancer in the small bowel, spread to the liver and the stomach lining, to say I was angry at my doctor would be a big understatement because I had tried so hard to get him to guide me, my life was in his hands.

The person who gave me the news, I know these people must be serious, but anyway, they was it is brought I do not agree with it, no hope, gloomy, and I mean even in the hospital the woman only started as Stomach, Liver and Bowel specialist 4 years ago to me that is very little experience. I was rushed off in ambulance to hospital after throwing up heavily, finally my daughter and gf said you really must go to hospital they called the ambulance. I had been vomiting 10 litres at a time, and terrible stomach cramps accompanying that, as soon as I had thrown yup heavily I felt ok, cramps gone.

Anyhow in hospital; put a drip through my nose to stomach, the product coming out water but full of green gall. In the end it started to become more clear and I could finally get rid of the thick tube they forced in, and which gave me a rotten sore throat the entire week, I was not allowed to eat or drink, I could not eat anyhow but a drink, I needed it so I ordered ice cubes, 2 glasses full up and water or ice water in two glasses, I sipped that and rinsed but spat it out as mot allowed to drink, as they were measuring the amounts coming out and how much fluids via drip feed was going in. I just had to have a little sip now and then, my throat was terrible.

Finally got all of the tubes out, was then relocated to a hospital where they routinely do operations and also place stents, one of which I now have, a by-pass, the tumour was blocking the passage in my or through my small bowel. So now I can eat am getting chemo Friday but by all accounts cancer of the small bowel is rare. We always tried to have as much organic food as possible when affordable, I no longer drink or smoke, have to wonderful grandchildren, it is hard to take in.

This way and the quality of care, makes me think of being on death row with no hope.

So the prognosis is, not years, prolong life, no cure, but here in the Netherlands I'm not certain that I'm in the best place to get the best quality care.

Thursday intake, Friday chemo.

Coming back from picking up my luggage, I had left in the hospital, I fell asleep at the wheel and almost crashed into the safety rail on the fastest lane, such was my fatigue which I had never ever experienced like that before, it was as if I had a blackout but in hospital what with the monitors regularly going off because of one thing or another and the monitors of other patients going off coupled with noisy staff that made me think they seem to think they are working at the market, and then the regular checks of blood pressure, temp, heart rate, the sleep pattern becomes broken up, it is so tiring, 4 of us in a room, two had just had a completely enormous operation cannot recall the name but they both had incisions, horizontal across abdomen under belly button, measuring 45 cm. I found it so heavy, we all supported and tried to help one another, I am not well but I have a really good sense of humour and I tried to be positive, for me and for them.

I've even been thinking about getting my second opinion back home, in the UK, don't know but anyone with sound data on this, I would very much appreciate it. I try to get up with a clear head not just thinking about cancer as I know that feel good chemicals released are a type of medicine and the world is full of wonders, so I refuse to give up on me. I think they are saying that he chemo they are going to use doesn't always work, if I were to go with the flow the way they have been doing things I'd sink into a depression and just wait to kick the bucket but no way, I'm so upset for how my loved ones are affected, especially grandkids, partner. I will do everything to find a way to survive. I know it may be curtains but one must fight back, with positive affirmations, deep relaxation exercises, yoga anything that strengthens mind and spirit, the spirit, mind and body are one. Perhaps I need to work hard on positivity but talking in the now and affirming things you need to be, gets deep into the subconscious and van have big effects, I know that, as I've been using these things for years and saw changes.
Best wishes to all those in a similar boat, be strong do not give up, find ways to shut out the neuroses of modern life and find balance and peace. I think was it that spray painting I did, was it certain medicine that's not safe, I just do not know, a rare cancer, it's baffling especially when medical science doesn't yet have the answers to everything.