Hello Matt and welcome to the Cancer Chat Community,

I'm really sorry to hear about Drew's diagnosis. Undoubtedly this will have been incredibly hard news for you to all hear and I can only imagine how overwhelming things have felt over the past few weeks. It sounds like it's been a real whirlwind of tests, information and treatment. I'm glad to hear that you've felt so well supported by the medical team so far. 

We know that many people turn to the internet for information and answers. Unfortunately what seems to happen most often is that people are unable to find firm answers for their individual situation, that they have more questions than before and ultimately this leaves them feeling more anxious. It sounds as if this has been the case for you and your wife. 

It's understandable that now you're home and you've perhaps had some time to sit with all the information you've been given that you feel so scared by the situation. It sounds like you'd really benefit from having a conversation with someone from Drew's care team to try and offer some answers and reassurance. 

I'd suggest that the two of you start by writing down all your questions. It's easy when you're at an appointment to forget things that you want to ask so putting it down in writing can help. You can also then use that list to jot down some answers so that when you're home again you will have those notes for reference if you're unsure what exactly was said. If you've been given the contact details for a cancer nurse specialist then I'd suggest getting in touch with them as a first point of contact. Explain how you're feeling and that you have some questions. I promise that you won't be the first, or last, parents to contact the nurse specialist asking for support so please don't feel that you're imposing. If you don't have contact details for a nurse specialist then give the Consultant's secretary a call and ask if you can have an appointment to talk through your concerns and questions. 

If it would help to chat with one of our nurses you're most welcome to give them a call. I know they will be happy to listen and offer any advice, information and support they can along with helping you think about any other questions you might want to put on that list for Drew's clinical team. If you'd like to talk with them at any point you can call them on 0808 800 4040, Monday to Friday 9am to 5pm. 

From what you've shared Matt, although you've been told this is a long(er) treatment road for Drew, the team have a positive outlook and considers this to be treatable. Try to hold on to that information, particularly in the darker moments when the "but what if" anxieties creep in. Try not to look too far ahead as again, this can leave you feeling overwhelmed by what the future may hold and cause more anxiety. 

It's also worth asking the cancer nurse specialist, or treatment team, what support services are available in your local area. It may be that there is a Maggies that you can access for support if any of you feel that would be helpful. 

For now Matt, I hope that Drew, your wife and yourself are being well supported by family, friends and colleagues. Know that the Cancer Chat community is here for you if it helps to have a safe space to write down how you're feeling, ask questions or chat with others who can understand. 

Keep in touch and let us know how you're all doing. 

Best wishes, 
Jenn
Cancer Chat moderator