Hi there, I was diagnosed almost 5 weeks ago and I still cant take it all in. I have bowel cancer at the sigmoid and a tiny spot on my liver that has metastasised from the bowel. I was seen by the oncologist last week and have to start chemotherapy on December 4th for 3 months. It all very terrifying when they are giving you all the possible side affects that you may get. Once I have had the chemotherapy they will rescan me and then I will need two surgeries. One to remove the bowel tumour and I need to go to Edinburgh for the liver surgery. I am glad to have found this forum with people who are going through the same thing as me. 

Hi it is very scary when they go through things I didn’t have chemo first not sure why it might have been because I had a neuroendocrime bowel tumour. All I can say is that amazing things can be done with our bodies and if they are recommending surgery go with it as they do know the best course of action x hope all goes well with you x 

Thank you, I am staying positive and doing meditations and positive affirmations that are really helping me especially my mental health. My family and friends are amazing. I hope you are doing okay.

Annemarie.

That’s good to hear Annemarie family and Friends are really important I did not tell mine for ages and it’s a decision I do regret now. 
im home taking it easy first night was weird but looking forward to being the director of my house and dishing out the jobs lol x take care and I wish you well. 
Wendy 

Thanks Wendy, how long was your surgery and stay in hospital? I’m waiting and hoping that my Pet scan I had last week is all clear. I think after you have any scans mri’sits always a worry of the unknown. Take care and please keep in touch.

Annemarie

Surgery was about 6 hours as they did liver and colon at the same time I had problems with the epidural so they had to do when I was asleep but then it was dislodged when I came round so I just had oral pain killers. I went in last Sunday as they needed to do an infusion to block hormones in advance and surgery was on Tuesday early afternoon and then I was discharged yesterday. First few days I really was not with it and only as the drains and lines come out did I start to feel myself and the reduction of pain meds. The hardest I think was waiting between Sunday and Tuesday and all I could think was that feeling of driving away from my house, dog and that I might not return but surgeons are amazing what they can do when you are asleep and I have so much admiration for them. I feel really thankful that it was operable as well there are so many who don’t get that second chance. 
sending positive thoughts your way

wendy 

Hi Lappinsasha, how are you? I am waiting to hear if my chemotherapy can start on Thursday and it will depend on the hospital arranging a picc line to be fitted. If not I will be waiting another week to get started. The sooner the better as it will be 3 months before I can think about surgery to remove the tumour. I will then need to recover from surgery and go to another hospital in Edinburgh for a liver resection to remove the tiny spot on my liver. I hope you are feeling okay. Sending hugs

Annemarie xx

Hi Lappinsasha, how are you? I am waiting to hear if my chemotherapy can start on Thursday and it will depend on the hospital arranging a picc line to be fitted. If not I will be waiting another week to get started. The sooner the better as it will be 3 months before I can think about surgery to remove the tumour. I will then need to recover from surgery and go to another hospital in Edinburgh for a liver resection to remove the tiny spot on my liver. I hope you are feeling okay. Sending hugs

Annemarie xx

Hi Annemarie glad you have a sort of plan and timescale and it will be here before you know it. I’m nearing week 3 after op and only taking paracetamol and mainly just before I go to bed got told off for doing too much (walking) so trying to be good it’s still really uncomfortable but manageable and I know it will get better. Have clinic appointment in 2 weeks so hopefully will have confirmation they got it all and if I need any further treatment. Take care and message anytime 

Wendy x 

Hi Wendy, glad to hear you are recovering from your surgery well. I am always out walking so I would probably be told off too. I can only seem to get onto this chat forum on my phone. When I use my iPad I can never seem to reach anyone and I never seem to get any replies from anyone. I contacted the helpline but still doesn't work.  Keep in touch Wendy and take care.

Annemarie xx

I was very active before surgery, up the mountains and beach walks and doing lots of swimming my poor dog is wondering what’s happened I think. I use my phone have not tried any other device but did find messages in my spam the other day I tend to pick up from my emails. Only bonus suppose is time flies so hoping I will feel better soon xx 

Wendy 

Hi Annemarie

hope you are ok I have had good news that they think they got all of my tumours so I only need 6 month scans going forward with plans for if they do return with further surgery being the last resort feel so thankful there are people who research and train to do this surgery and who look after us in our darkest times. 
thinking of you x 

Wendy 

Hi Wendy, that is amazing news, I am so happy for you. With only needing 6 monthly follow up scans is wonderful. I am having my picc line fitted tomorrow and then I start chemotherapy next Thursday morning. So at last I can now start my treatment with a positive mind and to stay strong physically. I hope I will still hear from you as it really helps having someone who understands what you are going through. Take care Wendy sending hugs.

Annemarie xx

Good luck today Annemarie 

message anytime and keep in touch will be keeping everything crossed for you xxx Wendy 

Hello all

Thank you sharing your stories. It is a scary time, but it's reassuring to hear about your treatment plans, and even when it goes into the liver too in multiple places, they seem to have effective treatments and cures.

If I might join in please?

I have just received a bowel cancer diagnosis today. Rectal with a not-small tumour. Whilst I am terrified, the Dr was very clear it was treatable, either through surgery, or chemo/radio then surgery, depending on what the scans show as to whether it may have spread through the lining to the muscles and or liver (I think). 

It was a huge amount to take in, but the Dr and Nurse were both talking in terms of total treatment and cure. Unless there are spreads and complications, in which case more treatment, I think? I tend to catastrophic, so now I'm trying to stop myself worrying it may have spread and have other parts inoperable.

Any advice would be very very welcome 

Hi 

sorry to hear of your diagnosis but positive that they are talking in terms of cure which is what they did with me constantly saying this will ‘cure’ so keep hold of that they know what they are doing and don’t tend to give false hope it’s very hard not to think of the worst and get in your own head but listen to what they say write it all down. It’s easy after the events to say try not to worry but you will it inevitable , I planned my funeral in my head what was gonna happen to my house other people’s emotions and wasted so much time being scared instead of living, make sure you make time to be kind to yourself. I Hope you have people round to support you but a wise person told me no matter how much support you have family/friends unless they have had the same experience they will never fully understand what you are going through so be prepared to feel alone at times even if you are not, which is why these chats are so important to connect with others who are going through similar. I also found writing a journal was good to get it all out I’ve hidden mine now as it was just for me (and a just in case). Hold onto the medics positivity they won’t say they can do something if they can’t. 
here if you need to chat

wendy x 

Hi there, I just want to say hello and add to what Wendy has already said.

I made the original post three months ago while I was in the middle of my diagnosis journey and was lying awake doing my own catastrophising! Being in touch with people who were going through similar experiences to my own really helped me then, and still does now. 

I am just about to go into my 5th out of a total of 6 chemo days on the 2nd January. My bowel cancer (a small tumour compared to others) was confirmed operable early on but the liver secondaries took longer to confirm. I have six lesions in the liver across the two lobes but the surgeons are confident they can get everything. 

My next steps after the chemo on Thursday are more MRI and CT scans the following week so the oncologist and surgeons can see where we are; my last round of chemo on the 18th then we plan for the op.

It is hard not to jump ahead, but for me it is easier to take each bit as it comes and not think too far ahead (other than to think positively that everything is going to be ok). I’ve no idea when the op will be, or whether it will be one or two. I can’t know these things until the MDT have discussed the scans so no point in planning or speculating what the next few months will look like. It is the same with the chemo, take every session as it comes, some days you feel worse than others but you can’t really control it (except to stay positive and know it is all happening for a good reason - to make you well).

Always happy to chat, either in this thread or privately. Hope it all goes well for you. 

Clare

Dear Wendy and Clare

Thank you so much for your kind words, and sensible advice.

I really struggle to be present in the now, and am always looking ahead. I know that's counterproductive but find it hard.

I spoke to the nursing team this afternoon. She was OK and somewhat helpful, but I also worried she was trying not to get my hopes up. 

I suppose if it has.spread, I could be in trouble. I thought the colonoscopy surgeon said that if it spread it would be through to the surrounding muscle, but also a chance of the liver. Does that sound right?

I hope that both your chemo and other treatments go well.

Thank you so much for sharing and engaging with me on here.