Hello JJT, 

It's truly heart-breaking what happened to your mum ending up in hospital with sepsis and fluid retention and finding out that the cancer has spread and is terminal. In a situation like this, loved ones like yourself feel totally powerless and it's normal that you are finding yourself being totally speechless and that your head feels foggy. It must all be a bit of a blur and it's impossible not to feel confused by all that is happening. It's a difficult time right now as you are still waiting for some important results and therefore do not quite have the full picture of what is going on and what the next steps might be. I think it would be helpful for you to manage to speak to someone who looks after your mum as they will be best placed to tell you what the next steps will be and you deserve some clarity on this so don't hesitate to knock on a few doors or call your mum's specialist/medical team to get an update on what is going on. Even though you are still waiting for some results, they will I am sure be able to offer guidance so that you know a little bit more what to expect.

Hearing that a DNR was put in place is no doubt distressing and you definitely need to talk to someone who is very much aware of her medical background and current condition. Don't hesitate also to talk things through with one of our lovely cancer nurses who will be available on this free helpline 0808 800 4040 - you can call them Monday to Friday from 9am to 5pm. 

It also helps to hear from the words of others here on the forum who look after a loved one with a terminal diagnosis and I will let them now come and say hello and I am sure that they will have some words of support and comfort for you. 

We're thinking of you and your mum during this terribly difficult time and we wanted you to know that you are not alone and we are all here for you anytime you need to reach out to others who understand what you are going through at the moment. 

Best wishes, 

Lucie, Cancer Chat Moderator