Hello Maz21,

 Firstly l am sorry to hear of your husbands diagnosis and fully appreciate how life changing this news will be. There are no hard rules around recovery from cancer, it is very much on an individual basis, and l would say you need to drop the term bleak in exchange for hard, albeit very at times.

Cancer treatments evolve constantly and have moved on significantly since my diagnosis ten years previously and are very much more targeted to the individual.

Yes, people can and do overcome later stage cancers and it is important to recognise that the biggest thing the patient can bring to the party is the minimum stress level they place upon their body, quiet determination and as close to normal being optimal.

In my case stage 4 bowel cancer with spread  to the liver is not the same as your husbands, a lot of the same scenario's will resonate,. no symptoms, fit and well, aged 62 and highly active. Its not the disease that appears as the problem initially, but the cure most certainly will, so you need to understand .this early on

In my case after a week of complete distress l realised that this would greatly harm me, significantly reduce my shot at survival and could not continue. The fact my career had been spent in intensive livestock farming meant l was highly aware of how damaging high stress levels can have serious knock on effects, with low or no being highly beneficial.

My way of dealing with this was to accept that this could kill me and coming to terms with that, but engendering a stubborn determination not to give my foe one glimpse of any further advantage, No more what if's from then on.

Sorry if this feels blunt, but realistically although platitudes are nice to receive, focus on what will make the difference is a far better friend to have by your side in the arduous journey to recovery you will now BOTH face, but know that the possibility exists that you can arrive at your preferred destination, in my case stronger ,albeit with a few extra bits of baggage, younger and fresher looking would you believe, active and more driven than before to embrace life than ever before.

l wish you both well and that you progress forward as calmly as you possibly can,

                                                                                                                                     David

PS, l would highly recommend attending a MAGGIES centre if you have one near you, it played an important part in my recovery