Sorry to hear you are in this situation. I had cancer in both breasts but could have had mastectomy on left and partial on the right . I decided to have them both off to be equal . I didn’t mind going flat but had myself put on waiting list for reconstructive surgery,just in case . I did feel clothes fitted better with breasts .The prosthesis were great and you can swim with them ,I have just had my silicone implants and feel great . See how you feel , don’t rush into things ,you are young as well .I am 62 and happy I have had it done . Sexually you will feel better too ,I am sure . I will have nipples tattooed in a few months too . It’s for me to feel good . Good luck and stay in touch xx

Hi Mammaoffour,

A very warm welcome to our forum. I am so sorry to hear that you find yourself in this unenviable situation. I have never been left in the position of only having one breast. I had a lumpectomy 14 years ago, for stage 1 pure mucinous breast cancer. I had already lost my mum to breast cancer and was assured that my type of cancer was slow growing. Within 6 months of surgery, I discovered a large lump in my other breast. My surgeon was pretty sure that this was cancerous too, but fortunately, biopsy proved otherwise. Within 11 months of surgery, I discovered a smaller lump in the original breast, but this time I wasn't so lucky and it was cancerous. I was offered a single mastectomy, but when I asked about the possibility of having a double, my surgeon was happy to comply, as he stated that my other breast was pre-cancerous. 

I was happy with this, as I had large breasts and I felt that I would feel very "uneven" if I only had the one removed. Having had three scares within a year, I also wanted to ensure that I didn't have any further recurrences. Unfortunately, I was unable to have reconstruction, due to previous, non-cancer-related surgery. Instead, I use prostheses. Although I am told that these are getting lighter, each time I get a replacement, I still find these very heavy. The silicone ones do look better if I am keen to look dressed, but for everyday, I now prefer to use Marks and Spencer's foam breast forms, as these are considerably lighter. They don't feel as hot and sweaty in warm weather either. I wear a swimsuit with pockets for my prostheses and did have a few interesting experiences at first, until I finally found the best prostheses for me. I am a lot older than you (75) and married, but I still worry about my appearance. Fortunately, my hubby is just happy to still have me here and is less concerned than I am about this.

I do have to ensure that any bra I wear is tight fitting to keep the prostheses in place, throughout the day and this can be uncomfortable at times. I also find it difficult to wear anything low cut without scarring showing. I get around this most of the time by attaching lace or embroidered inserts to the front of my bra. I attach these by sewing poppers on to the insert. I then wrap this around the bra straps on either side and create a "modesty panel", which is kept in place, by fastening the popper.

Not all clothes suit a flat breast and some look positively awful with one. It is only in recent years that I have started to go completely flat, occasionally. This is certainly more comfortable, although I still feel self conscious and use my prostheses for dress wear.  Most surgeons are unwilling to remove a healthy breast, because they claim that this doesn't give us any better chance of survival, than we get from just having the affected breast removed. I was fortunate, in that my surgeon was willing to remove both of my breasts at the same time. I was totally happy with this decision, as I wanted to give myself the best possible chance to see my family grow up and to avoid any further recurrence.

I do see posts from people who have had single mastectomies, saying that they feel "unbalanced", when just the one breast is removed, without reconstruction. Rumpelstiltskin had to wait quite a while to get her reconstruction, but she seems to be very happy with it. I have never regretted my decision to have both breasts removed. I took Tamoxifen for the first year after my lumpectomy, but when it was obvious that this hadn't worked for me, I changed to Letrozole after my double mastectomy. I took this for 6 and a half years and despite the side-effects, I would do this again. I was advised to have radiotherapy, but due to other issues, was not offered this until 11 months after my original surgery. At this stage, I spoke to 2 eminent researchers into radiotherapy and was advised that it was pointless to pursue this path, if more than 3 months had elapsed. As a result, I didn't have radiotherapy.

A year is a long time for you to wait to have your good breast removed, but if this is what you want, it will be well worth waiting for. The decision on what surgery you have is totally up to you. You will naturally be guided by your surgeon, but it is you who have to live with the results, so it is something that you have to be happy with.

I sincerely hope that you make the right decision for you and am always here to answer any questions you may have. I have also accepted your friend request.

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx