Hello Mammaoffour

I'm sorry to hear that you were given a breast cancer diagnosis today. It's understandably been a difficult day and I'm sorry that you don't have a family support network around you. Hopefully, there are friends who can step up and be there for you and your children over the coming weeks and months. 

I'm sure that some of the other women on the forum who have been through treatment for breast cancer will post to share their experiences and advice with you soon. 

I wanted to reply now because you mentioned in your post that at this time you're not keen on breast reconstruction. I wanted to let you know about an organisation called Flat Friends which I know will be able to offer you advice and support in helping you to make the right decision for you and supporting you if you choose to remain flat after your surgery. I'm sure you'll find their website helpful as well as their support group if you choose to explore this option. 

I hope this helps a little. Keep in touch Mammaoffour and let us know how you're doing. 

Best wishes, 
Jenn
Cancer Chat moderator 

Thankyou very much for your reply. I will check out flat friends 

X

Dear Mammaoffour

I'm very sorry to hear your diagnosis. I am 39 and diagnosed with IDC on 19th  April. I'm waiting for the mammograms (had an MRI scan this week) before they suggest a treatment plan. I totally get your wish to be flat. Id considered it even  more my diagnosis ad mum died of metastatic  bc in 2019. I am only 39 and have 2 girls  ( 4 and 6). Its petrifying when you have small children.

If you need any support please do get I  touch.  X

Thankyou for replying. 

I have to have another biospy on 14th May due to some calcification that needs testing. Then I will get a full treatment plan, I know for certain it includes surgery but not discussed anything else yet.

My children are 8yrs and 3yrs. It's terrifying trying to parent and keep things normal for them. 

The waiting in-between tests has been harder for me than the actual diagnosis. 

So sorry about your mum. X

Yes I agree the waiting has been the worst part. I knew when they said the biopsy had gone for more testing so the actual cancer diagnosis wasn't a massive shock. 

I haven't told my kids yet. I wanted to know what I'm facing first. Telling anyone without more details has been hard. Only very few people know what is going on.  Work, my 2 closest friends and my brother are the only ones who do know.  There's too many unanswerable questions otherwise.

I'm just hoping (despite the size its 4cmx2xm so larger than others are mentioning) it hasn't spread and its treatable. They've already started me on Tamoxifen to stop more growth in the meantime. 

I'm told it is likely to go to MDT on either 22 of 29th May (depending on when my consultant gets the MRI and mammogram results) and then I'll be told the treatment plan.  X

The waiting is so hard isn't it. I have to wait for another biospy, then the 2 week wait for results and then wait for an appointment to get treatment plan.....so potentially 4-6weeks before any treatment.  I tam terrified of the lump they diagnosed as cancer spreading while I'm waiting for everything else. 

I've found that I'm suffering terrible mood swings, I'm angry at everything. The only positive is that I'm rage cleaning so that I stay out of people's way. X

I'm very worried about it spreading in the interim too. What grade did they say yours was after the first biopsy?  Mine's already quite large but was said to be grade 1. So I putting all my hope on the fact that it's less aggressive.

At least you are putting your emotions into the cleaning. I've started cross stitching again at any spare minute to keep.my mind busy to stop me obsessing or worrying.  X

I am so so sorry that your friends have reacted like that. That's not at all helpful.  If you need a chat or support please feel free to message me here. X

Thankyou. 

I suppose something like having cancer makes you realise who the real friends are.

Here's to us both starting treatment and coming out the other side stronger. Let's kick breast cancers butt. X