Hi Megen, i found that as long as the food is chewed a lot more than normal it hasn’t been an issue. As for the spicy food, it can cause a lot of air which inflates the bag very quickly and often causes night time empties. It is very much a case of trial and error. What works for others may not necessarily work for him.  He just needs to be kind to himself and not rush into feeling he needs to accept this new way of life immediately. Good luck x

Hi Sarah, thanks for your reply.  His biggest problem is that he doesn't want to accept the new way of life at all.  His surgery is scheduled for 29th Feb. and he's still not sure he's going to go ahead with it as he's adamant that he does not want to live with a permanent ileostomy and there is no guarantee this wont be the outcome. I think he will go through with it and from reading messages from kind people like you who are prepared to share their experiences, ultimately eating with a stoma will not be as bad and troublesome as he thinks.

It will take time. Hopefully his stoma will be temporary. I’ve had mine for nearly a year and it is daunting but tbh I forget it’s there sometimes. Before surgery I was rushing to the loo multiple times a day and now I just empty my bag when I need too. I’m due a reversal sometime soon but tbh I love how it’s given me back my freedom. Has he had a consultation with the stoma nurses? They have been brilliant and will give him some bags to practice with. 

I think part of his problem is that he thankfully has stage 1 bowel cancer and has no symptoms and feels perfectly well so is doing all his normal stuff like going to the gym every day and playing golf 4 times a week.  The Physio has already got the measure of him stressing how careful he's got to be in the first 6 to 8 weeks as he knows my husband will not want to sit still!!  We have seen the stoma nurses and yes they were incredibly kind and supportive, even to the point of picking up on the fact that my husband did not want to practice or even touch the bags at that meeting without him having to say anything.  His main concern when chatting to them was how he'd empty his ileostomy bag during a five hour round of golf in the middles of the golf course, on some holes the loos can be a ten to fifteen minute walk away.  He wasn't terribly impressed when the nurse suggested he emptied it into a nappy sack and hung the sack on his golf trolley handle for the rest of the round, until he realised she was joking, about the hanging the bag on the handle bit anyway!!  I'm sure he'll get there anyway and thank you for your encouraging words, they do help.

He sounds like he could be back to his normal routine in no time. Being active help a lot. Unless he’s had a spicy curry or has eaten something that doesn’t agree with him, he could make it through round of golf no probs. If he goes for a wee during that time, empty it then. There are also some support belts that are good for people who do a lot of sports. He will get one on prescription where they come out and measure him and try some on. He’s so lucky they caught it early, he’s got the best chance of recovering quickly and he will be in the best of hands. 

Thanks, I'm sure you're right.  I think a lot of his problem, understandably, is fear.  He's already had two hip replacements and a reverse shoulder and I've never seen him so afraid before.  When he comes home from golf I'll let him read this thread and I'm certain your positive comments will help a lot.  I can make all the right noises, but it's only really hearing that it's not all gloom and doom from someone who is actually going through it that helps.