Hi, I was in same situation recently waiting 3 weeks for breast cancer results and I can honestly say it was the worst experience of my life, I was miserable, tearful, depressed etc. I did do the cardinal sin of googling, but tried to stick to the 'official' websites, but by 4am on results day I had basically diagnosed myself with a death sentence! I can only say try and keep busy, but I'm with you, it's so bloody hard. My results were cancer (but not the extreme I had diagnosed!), and although yes it was bad news, I feel like a whole weight has been lifted. Sending hugs. Here if you want to chat x

Hi, I was in same situation recently waiting 3 weeks for breast cancer results and I can honestly say it was the worst experience of my life, I was miserable, tearful, depressed etc. I did do the cardinal sin of googling, but tried to stick to the 'official' websites, but by 4am on results day I had basically diagnosed myself with a death sentence! I can only say try and keep busy, but I'm with you, it's so bloody hard. My results were cancer (but not the extreme I had diagnosed!), and although yes it was bad news, I feel like a whole weight has been lifted. Sending hugs. Here if you want to chat x

Thanks. Its torture! I came to the same conclusion this morning, keeping busy is the way to go. Frantic panic isn’t going to change or help anything. 

It's absolutely horrid isn't it. I didn't tell my mum and sisters to begin with as there was no point them worrying for 3 weeks as well. I just told my husband and a few close friends so I had some support and people to chat to. I had my MRI Monday and got a call yesterday to say come in Friday to meet surgeon to discuss results and next steps, MORE waiting!

Don't beat yourself up if you take another wee melt down or panic episode, it's natural. Every one of us have done it. You will have good times, or at least times where you'll suddenly feel relaxed or more positive, but then you'll get hit with the panic train again. It's natural.

We found once all the facts are laid out, even if it is not the news you're wanting, you become more focused and get some sort of acceptance. You have a plan laid out, and the mental agony lessens somewhat because the focus is elsewhere. I found speaking to people on here, even talking nonsense and joking with others on here helped a lot. We stopped googling and things got a lot better. The day of the results, it was bad news, we had a cry even though we were told it was 99% likely to be cancer, and then picked ourselves up.

Ah I can relate to all of that, it’s the not knowing (the extent of it), and guessing what might happen. I agree even if it will be bad news it will be a relief to know the facts and have a plan! Not googling any more. Will stick to chat threads like these. Thanks for taking the time to reply. 

The waiting is agonising! You’re moving in the right direction at least. Keeping everything crossed for you x

I am nearly 4 years on from my breast cancer diagnosis. The very worst point of the journey for me was the time between my initial biopsy, when it seemed fairly obvious I had cancer, to the point where I had my diagnosis and sat down and discussed a plan with my surgeon. Once I had a plan and knew what was happening I felt much more in control, and could move positively on to do what I needed to get better. I had an earlier scare and my close family had all been a little annoyed that I had not shared it with them as they wanted to support me, so I did decide to tell them (but it was not just before Christmas, so I may have made the same decision as you). Looking back I think that the important people in my life at home and at work all benefited from knowing what I was going though and provided a huge amount of practical and emotional support for me. I know that the people around you feel very helpless, and they just want to do something to make life better for you. In my case their support and the love they showed me kept me mentally strong, which helped me in the healing process. Once I had my diagnosis and plan in place sharing my terrible news more widely turned out to be an amazing way to reveal how loved I was by the people around me, 

I can only echo the comments above about Googling. My surgeon told me to not go on the internet in our first appointment. it was one of the best bits of advice I received. I am only here now because a family member is in your situation today. 

Sending love at this difficult moment in your life.

Thanks for replying. Sorry to hear about your family member. I also had another scare some years ago and my kids were annoyed I hadn’t told them, so I do feel conflicted about it. My daughter is at uni and has another essay to be handed in by the 4th Jan and is quite stressed. So there’s that on top of Christmas. Difficult to know what’s best and it’s hard not telling them as I feel physically ill with some symptoms too, and am catering for all 12 of us Xmas day! Sigh.

I’ve terrified myself with Google and not doing it again!

I guess breaking news to your children is a whole other topic. My daughter was 17 when I was diagnosed, and it did have a big impact on her. She obviously needed to know what was happening, but as a mother, you want to minimise the distress of the situation for them. Life is so stressful for young people; you forget that until you have teenagers! You know your children best, and you will know what is right for them. 

On the subject of 12 for Christmas dinner - is this called diversion therapy? :D I suggest Paxo, ready-prepared vegetables and as much wine as necessary. This recommendation has nothing to do with cancer, although it is a side benefit of knowing you need to squeeze the most enjoyment out of life as possible at all times. 

Haha! Yes although the dinner for 12 was arranged prior to this nightmare I’m most definitely engaging in diversion/displacement activity! Can’t sit down.

and you’re right, I’m aiming to really value this Christmas with my family and squeeze out  every bit of joy I can, even if the nightmare lives on the back of my head