Newly diagnosed is such a scare but it can get far better :) 

Thank you so much for allowing me to join this chat when I needed help which was extremely rare for me as I am usually the strong independent one others turn to. I first noticed a large orange peel lump at my daughters’ wedding just after my mother’s cancer related death as I wore perky bras rather than soft ones. I instantly knew it was advanced cancer, but it was a long wait for a doctors appointment as I was busy with wedding tidy up, mothers funeral and cleaning her home, then the very long trip home where I live alone with my dog, and of course the doctor shortage.

 Expressions from my doctor plus those doing the mammogram and scans escalated my fear that cancer was very advanced. My rare moment of tears was in the car looking at my pictures but I needed to wait over Easter for my doctors appointment. I spent all Easter on the internet comparing pictures and so extremely grateful for this site as I could not talk to anyone about it yet. The chatline helped settle me far more than I expected so thank you to all that participated. I had pretty much accepted it was advanced aggressive inflammatory cancer which was confirmed when my doctors eyes welled up in tears when she told me it may be OK but it was bad, very bad, and at worst treatment may only be palliative. As this meant I could only have weeks to live, I was frantic trying to find a potential good home for my much loved young border collie that loves agility and to arrange a gradual weaning off me as his primary everything in his life.

Endless tests and yes, it was bad and also positive in the only lymph node they tested. It was extremely difficult telling my family the underplayed version (“just a lump”) to prepare them as we had only just had so much valuable time together with a wedding and funeral. I had my hair cut very short expecting chemo but it was Her -ve which does not react very well with chemo, so surgery first. My daughter (a nurse) surprised me on Mothers Day by saying she will fly over and spend a couple of weeks with me post-surgery which was an absolutely wonderful experience.

I am now just over 3 weeks post double mastectomy and removal of 21 lymph nodes. I had no problem losing my very large boobs as they had really passed their use-by date, very uncomfortable and were very painful as cancer was growing which I blamed on avoiding supporting bras and menopause. I am recovering very well, flat looks great and I feel so much lighter and more comfortable.

This week I had appointments with the team and not needing them is the best news of all. They simply threw all my cancer in the bin as multiple large cancers were contained in the breasts they removed. Only 1 of the 21 lymph nodes they removed (14 on left, 7 on right) was cancerous so a very slim chance it had spread. The cancer is extremely sensitive to hormones so hormone suppressant medication will control it. That was very important as they ruled out chemotherapy as I have liver and kidney problems with some medications due to a major horse riding accident. The worst breast was the left one so radiotherapy could have caused a bit of lung damage trying to avoid heart area. Both were options I would take if needed as I wanted to live. I am only 63 and life is finally great after an extremely hard working past.

I am now 4 weeks post-surgery, and my swelling has almost gone and I can lift my arms since forcing the movement to snap cords once advised by the physio specialist.  I have just come inside with a huge smile on my face and a very happy dog to have me back and fully functional for him. I was able to achieve throwing my ball for my dog and running him through the agility (with no wobbling boobs). Being alive is now an extremely treasured experience 

For all of you going through your early diagnosis, please keep in mind that it can get far more positive than you feel now. Good luck to each and every one of you and you are not alone in your journey xx