Hi NotGoingAnywhere,

A very warm welcome to our forum.

I am so sorry to hear of your diagnosis and just had to let you know that the way you are feeling tonight is perfectly normal. We all go through a plethora of different emotions, once we get a cancer diagnosis and they can change as quickly as the weather! There are a number of people on this forum, who have had stage 3 breast cancers and are still doing well. Hopefully, some of them will come along to share their stories, once they find your post.

It is good to hear that the cancer hasn't spread past your lymph nodes. Treatments have improved dramatically over the past few years. You will have a hard few months during treatment, but you will soon have all of that behind you.

I lost my mum to secondary breast cancer and have since had 2 bouts of primary breast cancer myself. In mum's case, it had spread to her brain, bones, liver and lungs, so, as you can imagine, I was terrified. However, I am now 13 years down the line and still leading a busy and fulfilling life. There was just no comparison between the diagnosis, treatment and aftercare, which we both experienced.

I am glad to hear that you have an amazing support network around you - you'll be particularly appreciative of that with a 1 year old to run after! Please keep in touch and let us know how you get on. It is good to see that your treatment is starting soon. Remember, that we are always here for you.

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx

Hi Not going anywhere,

Im sorry to hear about your diagnosis - it is such a stressful time and there is so much to take in. It is very encouraging that the cancer is contained locally and it so treatable. As Jolamine says, the treatments are so advanced now - targeted and effective for cancers such as these. I wish you all the best for your chemotherapy and hope you'll be back to normal and chasing after your little one before long! Xxx

Hi NotGoingAnywhere

I am sorry to read your post. It does not seem fair does it. Such a shock, thrown into an unknown where you do not want to go.

I am a different age and different family situation, but understand the shock, disbelief, panic and fear. I echo what the others say,

Also, I have discovered the NHS, where I am at least, is big on leaflets, I now have a heavy bag of them, all factually correct and written objectively no doubt.

But one of the things that has helped me over the past 2 months since my diagnosis was to get a copy of the book The complete guide to breast cancer (how to be empowered and take control) by Dr Liz O'Riordan (has a YouTube channel, also on Insta & Twitter) and Prof Trish Greenhalgh. Both doctors who had breast cancer so, although the info may be the same as the leaflets, the writing style is different. I got a  vgc used copy off eBay.

Keep in touch. Let us know how you get on. Sending you a hug xx

Hiya,

Not alone.  I'm in a weird situation like you where I have a great support system but want expecting to be on this type of forum at the age of 36years old.  Have only told a handful of people and trying to think and act fine when I'm not. 

 Rollercoaster of emotions and I am a little bit stuck as I didn't see this coming at all, that I had 0 symptoms and to be told I'm sick.  I have done major surgery and lucky to have approval for emergency IVF (where I currently am).

To have to do radiotherapy and chemotherapy where I will likely lose my hair (this freaks me out the most as I will then look sick) within the next 2 weeks.

No one is really getting it and I hate how everyone is so worried around me. 

Makes me feel guilty for putting people under so much stress, but also grateful it is me going through this rather than the people I care about.   Let alone the journey for the next 6 months to get better

Everyone will say along the lines of this is 'your journey' and I get alot of 'im sorry this is happening to you' which has started to frustrate me.

So I've done the following which may help you.

Signed up for counselling which McMillan has with Bupa (6 sessions)

Going to give a tea/coffee group meet up a try.  Once I can drive again (what's the harm?)

Started doing some small hands a craft stuff that are easy to do and distracts the mind.

Joined a few possitive quote groups on Facebook (silly I know but I like a good quote)

Doing a video blog for myself.... No one else (you could try this or a diary ). I feel less burdened and saying aso what I'm lucky to have (also my holiday at the end of this cancer journey)

Finding groups like this place to communicate and feel safe.

Once I've got a plan on the chemotherapy and understanding after I've had my first session, I'm going to start scheduling activities outside.   Maybe get back to planning my wedding next year as that has been on hold for the last 3 months.  Who knows..

I am even looking forward to potentially going back to work even  if it's part time!  

I'm setting small achievable goals which is keeping me moving

You will have bad days, I'm sorry to say that.   Just cry it out and I'm on the motto that i will look back at 2023 thinking it's a horrible year.  But in that year I felt love from all the people that mattered and have a new appreciation of the future.

Cant wait for 2024....  But need to deal with this year first :)

Good evening, ladies.

I hope you are all having a nice weekend.

WOW I really didn't expect to get this many wonderful supportive responses, thank you all from the bottom of my heart! Having said that, I've been lurking on this forum for the past few weeks and have seen the amount of support people are willing to show others so I don't know why I expected anything else ️ 

[@Jolamine]‍ [@Case4]‍ [@wyll]‍ I have been lurking on this forum for a short while before rustling up the courage to post and have come across your posts on various other threads. I'm very grateful for the kindness and support you are always willing to extend to others. I'm finding that success stories and shared experiences are by the far the best remedy for my anxiety as well as the fear of the unknown. This forum is the first and the last place I'm finding myself at every single day. So while it's the medicine and science that will deal with the disease, I'm quickly learning it's the support of the community that will help my spirit. 

[@really_scared]‍ I purchased the audio version of the book this afternoon based on your recommendation and have already started listening, thank you! You are of coarse so very right- I have been given a folder full of (useful) information, but it almost feels like another mountain to climb in itself, I can't even explain why. So starting my own research gives me a feeling of control which I found is invaluable at the time you feel like control is the last thing you have. 

[@Monica_Coe]‍ oh darling, I can relate to so many points you've made... ️‍ Thank you for taking the time to type out such a supportive message at the time when you yourself need support. I hope I can do the same for you if ever needed. Maybe we can be chemo buddies. I mean, I wish we all cross-passed under different circumstances, but as we can't change the cards we've been dealt, at least we can lean on each other. I genuinely feel like being bald together isn't as bad as being bald alone :) When does your treatment start? 
 

Sending lots of love to you all,

N xxx
 

Hi N

My name is Sarah, I was diagnosed with Invasive Ductal carcinoma in October 2021, I'm 38' with 2 sons and it came as a huge shock

i had a lumpectomy, Chemo FEC-T for six cycles then 20 days of Radiotherapy and I am now on a hormone tablet for five years

My lymph nodes were clear her2- Oestrogen positive Grade 3 Stage 1 

I firstly know exactly how you feel, I felt really lonely I actually came in this forum at the time and found 4 girls who were at the same stage, we all had different treatment plans but they were amazing 

I used the cold cap as I had long blonde thick hair.

once you know what treatment you will be having you will feel so much better. Chemo isn't as bad as they say.  So glad your scans were ok.. keep strong xxx

Hi NotGoingAnywhere,

Thank you for your lovely post. I for one, am only too happy to help support othhers who are struggling with a cancer diagnosis, as I will never forget how I felt in those early days. The support I got at that time from people on this forum, was just tremendous and I will never forget how this community helped me through. The support from family and friends is very welcome of course, but it cannot match that of people who have been through it all before.

Keeping our spirits up, regardless of how good or bad our diagnosis may be, is just as important as the excellent treatment, that we have all come to expect.

Nobody need ever feel alone, once they have found this forum. Plase remember that we are always here for you.

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx

HI MonicaC,

A very warm welcome to our forum, although I'm sorry that you've had to join us at such a young age. Your list is proactive, which is exactly as it should be. You may be tired during chemo, but do what you can and don't feel upset, if you can't always achieve what you set out to do,on a particular day. Don't look at the bigger picture, you'll find it enough to deal with things day by day, or even hour by hour, if need be. This won't be forever - there are brighter days ahead.

This hiatus will give you time to plan your wedding, so look on that as a bonus - not many of us get time off to do that! This will give you something to look forward to once your treatment is behind you.

I hope that you manage to get your chemo sorted soon. I am 13 years down the line, having had 2 bouts of breast cancer. I wrrote a breast diary, which I have found very helpful to refer to over the years. It's amazing how quickly you forget small details, which people want to know about years later.

I am thinking of you and hoping that your treatment goes well. Please keep in touch and let us know when you get a date for chemo. We are always here for you.

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx

I have a similar diagnosis but in both breasts and her -ve. I am heading for a double mastectomy and axillary lymph dissection in the morning. Then radiotherapy, hormone suppressants and chemo once recovered. 
it is a very difficult time but we can only deal with the hand we are dealt. It may sound strange but I am looking forward to surgery as it is stage 1 in the fight back. I have felt helpless until now and breast and lymph pain is severe lately (necrotic type). 
I wish you well on your journey and hope you get as much comfort from this site as I have x