In shock

Hello all

I've just found this forum random googling. We are a couple, im Yvonne, 54, and 63 Michael . We were told on Thursday that Michael has cancer.  Total shock. Michaels' health has not been good for over a year since we both had covid. He was diagnosed with moderate heart failure after covid. The Dr said covid attacked his heart muscle,  his pump was weakened, and his lungs had fluid on. Antibiotics were taken, he was weaned off oxygen, and he came home. He did a blow test for COPD, which was negative, and everything went back to normal,  back at work, etc. Still, both of us tired , and the Dr's said normal after covid. Michael's Health got a bit better for a while, and then tiredness started getting worse. He slipped at work and got some pain in the left groin area. He was told it was probably a strain and rested it. It affected him walking, and it wasn't getting easier after over 3 months. He went to walk in the centre,  they x rayed it, said ligaments take time to heal and to rest it if no better go back in couple of weeks. He then had an MRI scan that the hospital wanted but took a few months after discharge with the waiting list. They lost it. He had another one, and they said pictures were grainy. They did CT at the end of march, and we heard nothing despite chasing. We contacted the heart nurse and told her Michael's had to have time off work as hes in pain in his leg. Thursday, we got a call for an urgent scan, the same day. No explanation why.  Tuesday, we got a call to go to an appointment with the hospital.  I asked what the consultants name was. I Googled her, and she was a specialist in diagnosing early cancer nodules in the lungs. What she said blew us away. Michael has primary cancer in the right kidney,  has spread to the left lung, it is in his lymph nodes, and has spread to his left hip bone. She told us it's incurable. Stage 4. We don't know how we are supposed to deal with this. His leg pain wasn't due to slip at work , it's bone cancer. He is sleeping a lot, he has no energy,  can't walk hardly and the bone pain counting back has been there way before Xmas. I've borrowed a wheelchair.  What are we going to do? He can't go back to work. I've been off work for months with fybromyalgia depression and anxiety . My 9 year old grandson is terminally ill and I've not coped well. Ive been referred to mental health and im on lots of meds for pain. We will not have any wages and won't be able to pay the rent, etc. Sorry for going on. Thanks if you've read my post. 

 

 

 

  • Hi Bonnie,

    A very warm welcome to our forum, although I'm so sorry to hear why you've had to join us. You have a lot to cope with just now, but one or even both of you, should qualify for financial help. The charity, Macmillan are very helpful in sorting this out. There is often an information centre based in cancer hospitals. Ask your husband's cancer care nurse where the nearest centre is or look it up on line. Please get this started as soon as you can, as it could take a little time to get it all sorted.

    I know that you are early on with  this diagnosis, so this may not have happened yet. Has anyone at the hospital mentioned the palliative care team? They may be able to help make things easier for you both at home.

    Please keep in touch and let us know how you get on. We are always here for you.

    Kind regards,

    Jolamine xx

  • Hi Bonnie, I'm so sorry to read about the challenges you and your husband are facing. You may want to call the Macmillan support line tel:0808 808 00 00 and they will point you in the right direction to get the right support and advice. I have called them a few times myself and they are absolutely amazing, so easy to talk to and very caring and supportive. And remember to come back here anytime as we're all happy to help, even from a distance. I'll be thinking of you and saying a prayer for you. Amy xx