Hi Toto. I have recently moved a very long way from my family and friends. I visited everyone recently and very involved with family and friends for my daughters wedding, then mothers funeral a week after. My cancer journey started the day I got back with multiple "urgent" tests and now waiting for double mastectomy and lymph dissection.

I found the best comfort I had was by messaging from close family and friends. It not only allowed me to read when I felt up to it and reread in the middle of the night if you can't sleep, but it gave my friends and family time to get words right. 

The worst was phone calls where they break to tears, complain about what you can no longer do for them, or compare it to some trivial medical complaint they or someone they know have. Some people react very poorly to bad news so please don't be like that and avoid phone calls.

If you are close a mix of chat and phone helps but try to keep positive. Definitely no tears. Timing also matters. Be sure to say you are available any time to chat if needed and "want me to call now? Yes/no?" Is great. 

If you are not close, just one message is enough as it is not the time to make new "friends" and it is annoying for the person with cancer to "comfort" someone they hardly know because they play on drama. 

Most importantly, try to be normal where you add a little happiness to discussions. Also as news comes you can do a little research so you know what terms mean (Her 2 +ve or -ve, lymph involvement etc).

If it is possible for you, ask if they would like you to visit and when. You are indeed a good friend to your friend by coming to this site for advice. X