Hello Alex45 and a big welcome to Cancer Chat, 

I am so sorry about your mother in law's terminal bowel cancer diagnosis. It sounds like she is a very important person in your life and it must be so hard to see her so poorly. 

It sounds like your partner has interiorised how he is feeling and that it has been difficult for him to talk about it. It's good that he is at least telling you that he feels down even though he is not managing to elaborate and communicate with you about it. I think that simply showing him that you are there for him will not go unnoticed. You can also try and make him realise that you are ready to listen to him whenever he feels ready to open up and talk more about it. He may be in a phase at the moment when he feels a bit withdrawn in his shell trying to process these emotions but perhaps there will be a time when he feels ready to talk about how he feels. Communication is really important in any relationship so I think the important thing is to show him that you are there for him and willing to talk if he himself is ready and willing to do so. 

I hope that you will hear from other members of the forum who have experienced similar issues and been in the same situation before and that they will be along shortly to share their story with you. 

We're thinking of you, your partner and your mother in law during this difficult time. 

Best wishes, 

Lucie, Cancer Chat Moderator