Hi Emma, I'm so sorry for what you are going through and can understand why you are not coping. Fear of the unknown is debilitating, isn't it. I've read your other post and you really have been through a horrendous experience. I'm afraid there's nothing to do but wait for the results of your CT scan but perhaps finding ways to distract yourself and relax is the best thing you can do right now. I have found that listening to happy music and taking a nice walk help to boost my mood, and spending time with family and friends. I know it's really hard, especially as you have a young family, to let your mind take you to the darkest scenario - I went there too when I was waiting for my results. But once I knew what we were dealing with (aggresive invasive breast cancer) and had a treatment plan, my whole outlook changed and I felt much more hopeful and positive. Now, 9 months later, there is no evidence of disease and I'm looking forward to getting back to a normal life again. I hope this will give you some comfort and hope that even if your worst fears are confirmed, there are amazing treatments nowadays and they are very effective. I would also recommend getting as fit as you can by exercising and eating really healthily as this will go a long way to helping you cope with any treatment. I think this was a big part of my treatment. I'm praying with you that you'll get good news and hope you'll let us know how you get on. Always happy to chat in the meantime if it would help. Also, I have a blog on Macmillan if you'd like to check it out community.macmillan.org.uk/.../carried-on-eagles-wings

Sending love and hugs, Amy x

Thank you Amy, it really is comforting hearing from someone who knows exactly how I'm feeling. I'm so happy that you're getting your life back x 
The not knowing is what is causing me so much anxiety, hopefully I should be rushed through as they've left me for 10 weeks since my first Ct scan, how it's been missed is driving me crazy! 
I'll take a look at your blog, writing in this forum has helped me so much x 

Thank you x

I've come home today to an appointment for next Tuesday so literally got everything crossed. I just need to know now!