New bowel and liver met diagnosis

Hi just been to see bowel surgeon this morning and got the devastating news that my husband has a large bowel tumour in two places and it's spread to his liver she mention liver metastits. She said that surgery not an option but palliative chemo could help with quality of life. Waiting for oncology appointment maybe 1-2 weeks. She said he has 6-12 months. 

Trying to process this .. he's 57 been poorly with upper digestive problems and diarhea since Jan, called in after visible blood in stool test, he's  been in bed for 3 months as he's exhausted. He's taken the news remarkably well but I realise he's probably in shock as I am. We have 2 kids my daughter is 18 next week and a 20 year old son who adore him. MacMillan nurses weren't there as they don't work weekend s so I was left alone the room when he was taken for a liver examination and had a good cry.  I want to ask them the best way to tell the kids - I've told them he has cancer and will start on chemo soon but I havnt said the time we have been given. Both kids are on the spectrum and very emotionally sensitive  and my son suffers from anxiety so I'm trying to work out how I tackle this. 

We've been together since I was 19. Right now I think Im refusing to process this which I know is probably a common reaction. 

I've gone into research overdrive and hear some very positive posts about long term palliative chemo and also where it can shrink tumours which may then be operated on. 

I guess my brain is wired to be a problem solver and maybe a way of coping with the news so Im looking at alternative things to go alongside the chemo ( pills Im told)

He's struggling to eat has zero appetite , at the minute porridge and rice crispier is what he can manage. Im also giving him Turkey Tail mushroom and Pine Pollen powders in a shake with banana and scoop of protein powder with a spoonful of manuka honey, I guess we will try anything that could potentially help ... it tastes gross but I guess no harm in trying and to get some more calories in him.

Can anyone give me a bit of advise on any of the above , sorry a long post but my brain is all over the place. X

  • Hi Sweetpotato66,

    I'm so sorry to hear of your situation and what you are going through. I can only imagine how difficult this must be and I can completely understand this must be hard to process.

    Hopefully you are able to speak to one of the Macmillan nurses soon, to get a bit of support and some advice.

    Keep speaking to the specialist also, with any questions on the medical side of things, and information about what to potentially expect.

    Once you have told the children, if you feel they would benefit from further support then there is an organisation called Hope Support Services who specialise in support for under-25s who have a close family member who has been diagnosed with a serious illness.

    It's important to look after yourself too - taking time to speak to others and also to try to get little breaks where possible. The Macmillan nurses will also be able to advise on this. You could also take a look at Maggie's, who offer support online as well as physical support centres.

    I hope that the forum can offer you some help too, and we're always here if you need it.

    Wishing you all the best,

    Ben
    Cancer Chat Moderator

  • Thanks Ben and also  for the info , Hope Support sounds a good port if call x 

  • So sorry for your husbands diagnosis, we are in a similar situation xx