Thank you everyone who has taken time to reply I very much appreciate it especially when it must bring back some bad memories.

Kate 

Radiotherapy can be painful but in the hospital I went to they do only a few sessions so you don't have to go very often before it's over. You may feel better if you keep your breast and it's not going to be too noticeable. I chose lumpectomy the first time I had breast cancer when I was 48. Now I am 67 I had to have a mastectomy as I got a new primary in the same breast. That means I had no choice this time (you can't have radiotherapy twice on the same breast) but I had immediate reconstruction instead. That's quite a bit of effort as you have two wound sites. My mother went into hospital at the same time, luckily I had carers looking after her. Maybe you could get some care for your husband in view of your health. I don't think you can sacrifice your health and needs for other family members so some care support might help. Also ask your children if they can help support you too. Don't put too much onto them, but it might be something they would like to do. I started cooking for my family when my mother had a hysterectomy. I was about 14 then I think and she wasn't in hospital that long. I'm not saying you bully your children into doing anything but maybe they could help a bit. Maybe they could make  toast and jam from time to time..

Hi Kate,

A very warm welcome to our forum.

I am so sorry to hear that you've been hit with this double whammie.This must have hit you both hard. I can understand why you are looking for the least impactful treatment for the family, but it is also essential that you find the optimal treatmentfor yourself.

I have had 2 bouts of breast cancer. First time around, I had a lumpectomy and when I found a second lump in the same breast a year later, I had a double mastectomy. Both healed in about the same amount of time, but I found that I was quite uncomfortable after my lumpectomy. I was particularly sore when I drove over speed humps, which we have in our street. I didn't have the same residual pain after my mastectomies and I felt that I had done all that I could to rid myself of cancer.  That was 13 years ago and I still lead a busy and fulfilling life.

I expect that you will find it difficult to be positive about all that is happening. However, you will find that the more positive you appear to your children, the better they are likely to cope with your diagnoses.

Please write down any questions you have and take these to your next appointment to discuss your options with your surgeon - no question is too small or too silly. S/he is in the best position to advise you of which is best for you. I know that they have to include patient choice in treatment, but it is virtually impossible for you to choose, when you don't know which is likely to be the most effective in your case. 

All of our cancers differ slightly from one person to the next. There is no one size fits all types of treatment. Your age and general health will govern what type of treatment, as well as the type and grade of your cancer.

You can also discuss this with your cancer nurse. They can be quite helpful in guiding you through the process. Expect to get an answering service if you decide to phone, but they are good at getting back to you as soon as they can.

I sincerely hope that you can come to a decision soon and that both you and your husband make good progress.

Please keep in touch and let us know how you get on. We are always here for you.

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx

Thank you so much for such detailed support. I saw the consultant yesterday and am aving a lumpectomy which is what he said was the best option. Not 100% happy as would have preferred a mestectomy but with a reconstruction but the lumpectomy seems the quickest.

Everyones help, advice and support is much appreciated

Kate 

Hi Kate,

I'm glad to hear that you have reached a decision. Have you got a date for surgery yet? I know that you can' be sure of post-op treatment until you get your pathology results back post-op, but did your consultant give you any idea of what s/he was thinking?

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx

Hi yep surgery 6th April which is when my son is home frm uni so he can drive. At the moment thought is radiotherepy about 6 weeks later unless of course they find something in the sentinel biopsy but fngers crossed

xxKate

Hi Kate,

Not too long to wait, which is good. It'll be handy to have your son home to drive you too. 

Let's hope that you get clear margins and a clear sentinel node biopsy.

I shall be thinking of you on 6th and hope that it all goes well.

Always here for you.

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx

Thankyou xx