Hello Anonymous86 and a warm welcome to Cancer Chat, 

I am so sorry to hear about how finding out you have CIN3 has had such a negative impact on how you feel about yourself. But treatment is very effective and it won't be long now until you have your treatment and it is successfully dealt with once and for all. There is in-depth information on our website on treatment if you have abnormal cervical cells which I hope will give you reassurance. It includes a section on the LLETZ (the loop excision) and will tell you more about what to expect at the colposcopy clinic. I am sure it will all go well so try to enjoy your holiday and put it all at the back of your mind. I hope you're going somehere nice :wink: !

It's understandable you are feeling this way, but as you rightly pointed out your impressions are definitely not true and none of this is your fault. Being diagnosed with CIN3 really doesn't mean anything about your sex life and no one will or should judge you or draw conclusions from this. There is absolutely no reason to be disgusted in yourself so focus on the fact that your partner is being so supportive and loving and you will both get through this I am sure in no time. It's a normal reaction as you are feeling so low to be pushing your partner away and you should not be forcing yourself in any way, but hopefully you will soon get over this irrational feeling and be your fabulous normal self again. If you feel that after you have had your treatment and it has all been sorted from a medical point of view that the way you feel about yourself has still been damaged by this and these feelings persist, I think it would be a good idea to mention it to your GP who will I am sure will be happy to talk to you in detail about all this. Our nurses are also just a phone call away on 0808 800 4040 - their line is open Monday to Friday from 9am to 5pm so don't hesitate to get in touch with them and ask them any questions.  

I am sure other women on the forum have felt this way and it would be interesting to hear their stories - it does help to talk to others who have been through something like this before. 

Have a fantastic holiday and I hope the LLETZ procedure goes well!

Best wishes, 

Lucie, Cancer Chat Moderator