Same thing has just happened to someone in my family. 79 years old. Stage 2 throat cancer. They say they cannot give full radiotherapy to destroy it due to other pre-existing medical conditions.

Im so sorry to hear tha, i hope you're ok, thank you for your reply,

We understand at this stage there is no cure we are looking for options to prolong life. My mother is 61 and has already bet cancer twice. We have did chemo and radio twice so are pretty lost at why nothing is bening offered. we are going private for a consult because at this stage i am now cocerned the care offered is due to the state of the NHS and not is what actually is best.

So sorry to hear this - I have recently had a family member with an unacceptable experience when faced with this kind of dreadful news. I would advise you to get the email of the hospital Chief Executive, Lead Nurse and complaints department and raise your experience directly with them. Whilst it probably doesn't come naturally to most of us to complain about the service we receive from the NHS (and often this is absolutely first class), when faced with a situation like this I found it the only way to get a proper response and plan.

I wish you and your mum all the best.

Thanks for your reply. Did you get any acceptable outcome or plan from this? 
 

we are planning on calling private hospital tomorrow. Although full treatment might be a stretch we are happy and able to pay for some tests and consults to challenge there plan and believe me if they say options are available I feel sorry for whoever on the NHS deals with my complaint because it won't be something they can settle with an apology. Telling someone their love one has no options and it turns out there is options available will be the worst thing these people did. It's appauling and I can't explain. It but something is screaming to me something isn't right. 
 

I hope I'm right not because I want the fight with them but so my mum atleast has a fight chance. 

Yes we did - where I was originally told it would take 30 days to receive copies of medical notes and scans, I received them within an hour and after a long and helpful call with the Clinical Lead from the oncology department we were given a detailed plan for next steps and further information about treatment. It's still early days and my relative is just about to start this treatment but escalating our concerns to the Chief Executive certainly got results for us.  I hope you are able to make progress with options for your mum - best of luck.

Hi Julz,

Am I right in guessing this consultation was with an arrogant upper GI surgeon and not a consultant oncologist? I had a similar experience aged 55 when I was diagnosed with OC and staged as T3N3M1 with surgery and chemo ruled out as the damned thing had grown around my aorta. Basically he had me written off as incurable, given between 2 and 12 months to live and referred to oncology for palliative care. 
61 is no age (I'm 64 now) and the witholding of treatment on the grounds of age is unlawful as well as unethical. These days chemo isn't the only option to surgery or radiotherapy - an oncologist will know that.

Before you spend your hard earned money on a private consultation, please push hard to see an NHS consultant oncologist to discuss a care plan. If chemo doesn't come up as an option, they will need to explain why not. 

Good luck!

Dave

Hi Dave,

thank you so much for your reply. In my research prior to her diagnosis I came across your story in another thread and used it as an example to my mum already. 
 

it was indeed upper GI constultant. They actually came across as shocked and bewildered that we would even consider going for a consult with oncologist. I at the time just demanded that we are referred to discuss option and since I left I have become angry. The lack of information is just shocking. 

If you have the energy, please email your complaint to the Trust's Chief Executive and copy in their Medical Director.

The lack of empathy and compassion shown is truly shocking to me both as a patient and as a former NHS Trust senior manager and Governor.

Such complaints are taken seriously and must be shared by the Trust with CQC inspectors who have been hot on this sort of thing since the Mid Staffordshire Inquiry. 

For what it is worth, I'm 64 and in a watch and wait situation with a specialist NHS Cancer Centre. I am told that as soon as my six monthly scans show regrowth of my csncer I will be given the option of chemo. 
 

Best wishes

Dave