Hi Kerry,

I am so glad to hear that your dad's care team allowed him to come home and that you now have a good support system in place. It is amazing how quickly things can be put in place once a decision is made. Has he been supplied with a hospital bed at home?

It is tragic that he is so young and that your younger siblings may never get to know him as well as you and your older siblings do. You sound like a close family and, I am sure that you and your older siblings will look out for the younger ones and be able to remind them of what a good daddy your father was. Have you told them how ill your dad is? If so, how have they taken this sad news?

It is always very difficult to know when the end is near. Have the doctors said any more to you about his prognosis? You will normally find that people sleep more and eat and drink less and less towards the end.

Can I ask what age you are? This is one of the hardest situations that you will probably ever have to go through in your lifetime. I hope that your dad feels happier in himself, now that he is home amongst his family, as he wanted to be. Just be there for him. Make sure that his carers are doing all that they can for him and if you feel that anything can be improved on, don't be afraid to say so.  Watch that he is as comfortable as he can be and that his medication is controlling his pain as well as it can - sometimes this may need to be topped up, as time goes by. 

Make the most of any opportunity when he is awake to say all that you have to him and, don't leave anything left unsaid. Tell him how much you love him.

This is a devastating time for you, especially with everything happening so quickly. Have you thought of speaking to a counsellor? There are a number of cancer charities which offer this service free of charge. I don't know what services are available in your area. Do you have a Maggies Centre or The Haven near you? They certainly do this, but there are also several local organisations. Your dad's care team, or your GP should be able to advise you. It can be helpful to talk through your worries with someone and they may help you more about what to expect. There will be a similar service offered through the school too, for your younger siblings.

I am so sorry that you are having to go through this and, I agree that it does seem very unfair. However, sadly life is never fair and death is no respector of age, creed or colour.

I am thinking of you and your family and am always here for you.

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx

Hiya 

im 35 and we have heard of Haven we had Haven careers in for dad.

unfortunatly dad lost his battle this morning he was comfortable and glad we had the chance to fill his wish and get him home. 
I'm still numb and confused. Dads cancer was in his lungs then spread into his bowels aswel as his spine he also has stage 4 serousion of the liver too. 6 weeks ago when we found out he had this nasty disease we was told he was gunna be with us for 3-5 months it's all happened so fast I carnt get my head around it . I'm sorry I keep going over the same things