So in 2016 one of my parents was diagnosed with both kidney cancer and totally seperate in the duadeanam had a kidney out then radiotherapy on the other . He us now 82 and after many months through covid and not being able to have appointments yesterday we got the news we were dreading .... it's back ! Again in two places one of which was a big shock to us . Sat through the appointment with them as is gard if hearing and recorded it so can listen and take in what they were saying . 
treatment was offered but has been declined for all the reasons I understand and for someone of sound mind we have to respect that however there is only myself , hubby and 3 children and he is the centre of our universe . What a difficult decision as was so very poorly with treatment last time and since then also my own health has deteriorated I am not in a position to help as I did . But I too now have to respect the decision and try and be brave for them , so very hard as we were told it's not curable so could be months years with it without it ......