Breast cancer diagnosis with metastasis

Hello, I feel like I am in a nightmare and I feel this can’t be happening. In March I was diagnosed with stage 1 breast cancer and yesterday after a pet scan, it showed that there were a few cancer cells in one of my ribs and a small area on my spine. Going from curable to uncurable has been a terrible blow.  I was due to have a mastectomy next week but they are now having to review me.  I can’t understand why they can try and get rid of the cells in ribs and spine as they are only quite small. They can’t operate or do radiotherapy and I don’t  understand why. They told me that some people can live for a long time but when I googled life I expectancy for this I had quite a shock. I would be lucky to get a few years. I have 2 young children and it looks like I won’t see them grow up. I don’t know what to do with myself. I am also the only person bringing in an income and I can’t get out of bed today. Can anyone advise me, thank you Xxx

  • Hello Lizee

    I'm so sorry to hear about the news you were given yesterday. It's understandable that you're feeling devastated by things. 

    We've got a number of people here on the forum who are living with metastatic cancer and I hope that some of them will post to share their words of advice and support with you. 

    The initial days after this kind of diagnosis are a real rollercoaster and it's natural that you're going to be experiencing all sorts of emotions. Hopefully over the coming weeks as you're able to talk to the Oncologist and the decisions about your planned surgery are made you'll start to feel more settled. I know that it probably doesn't feel like you ever will again at the moment but for now, just take things a day at a time. If a day is too much, then go hour by hour. 

    I know that many of our members have found it helpful to talk with our team of nurses. Please give them a call Lizee. They will be more than happy to listen and talk with you. They'll be able to offer you some information, advice, and support as well as help you think about the kinds of questions you want to ask at your next appointment. If you'd like to chat with them they're available Monday to Friday 9 am to 5 pm on 0808 800 4040. 

    Lastly, I just want to say that whilst it may feel like you're in a very lonely place right now, know that there is a whole community here to support you. Please feel free to post here on the forum to ask questions, offload how you're feeling or rant away. I know the members will offer you all the support they can. 

    Best wishes, 
    Jenn
    Cancer Chat moderator 

  • Hi Jen, thank you for replying. I just really am in the dark as to what is going to happen now. As there are a couple of spots on my spine and rib does this mean that I have advanced or stage 4 cancer now. What is the life expectancy for this, i am in my mid to late 40’s xx

  • Hi Lizee

    I'm not able to give you the answers that you need right now but I do understand the uncertainty that you're facing. 

    I'm presuming that you have a specialist breast nurse since your initial diagnosis? Don't be afraid to call them and leave a message. It's their role to support you and whilst they may not be able to give you information about what the appropriate treatment options are for you, at the moment, I'm sure they will be able to give you some advice and support. 

    I know we have some people here on the forum who have been living with metastatic cancers for a number of years. It's going to be difficult for anyone to give you exact answers to your situation right now. Hopefully once your latest results have been reviewed by the team of specialists they will be able to give you some firmer answers. So hang in there Lizee. 

    For the moment either give your BCN a call or give our team of nurses a ring to talk things through. There's lots of support available. 

    Sending my best wishes, 
    Jenn
    Cancer Chat moderator