Hiya Martin, thank you for your reply.

I agree that it's totally unacceptable. It took a month after the xray for my mums CT scan to be done when she was originally told it'd be done in the same week. It's been 10 weeks of absolute torture, stress, worry and anxiety and then to be told the bads news yesterday has just added even more anxiety to the situation. I'm terrified to think how much things could have progressed since February. I did ask that question yesterday but all we were told was 'We deal with lungs but have already referred you to the breast clinic so you'll be able to dicuss everything with them at your appointment on the 3rd of May'. They said to just pencil that date in because it might change.

My mum is lovely, thank you for saying that! She's also quite an anxious person but is dealing with all of this so well. The thing is I don't think she realises how cancer is staged and that her cancer is hopefully treatable but unfortunately not curable. She doesn't read things online like I do and I haven't mentioned anything to her about stages etc. She's got enough to worry about  

We don't have a name/number for an oncology doctor for her yet. I feel like the way she's being treated is awful. Even as far as the tests results have mostly been a phone call on a Friday telling her that someone will be ringing her on the Monday, so we've had a few weekends of absolute dread and panic waiting for that phone call....Now we do have a diagnosis and it's just more waiting again.

Thanks again for your reply Martin xx

Hey lovely,

So sorry to hear about your mum and hope you’re staying strong and looking after yourself too. 

I am in the same situ, where my mum was diagnosed with cancer of unknown primary in breast, lungs, liver and back. After the biopsy results they finally found that it started in the breast and she’s now being referred to the oncologist team to come up with a treatment plan, although we already know its not curable anymore and will only be managed. The above happened within three weeks and now we are waiting to hear from the oncology team. However it took them 3 months of sending her back from A&E, GP until they agreed to do some tests as they just assumed it was a bad back. Annoyingly it seems like they do need a lot of chaser and would suggest calling them everyday to push and push for an update and wouldn’t wait on them to contact you.

It can be exhausting and I am here if you need to talk.

Hi Savy,

I'm sorry to hear about your mum too. Life is so cruel at times isn't it. I think if we knew what the plan was regarding treatments etc then it'd be a bit easier to cope with but it's all the waiting and the not knowing that makes things feel a hundred times worse. I know the hospitals are busy but to diagnose people and then leave them in limbo is just so wrong in my opinion.

On the 14th of February after my mums xray they told her over the phone that they suspected it to be cancer but then it took until the 19th of April for it to be confirmed. It's not good enough!

I'm trying to look after myself but aren't doing a very good job at the moment. I've had 2 days off work and just feel so full of anxiety that I can barely eat or even do my normal day to day things. How are you doing/feeling? How is your mum at the moment?

Sometimes it makes me wonder if the person who is ill copes better than their loved ones do. My mum is going out and doing her food shop, cleaning, gardening. She had my nieces round for a sleepover last night. She seems completely normal but I only see the outside. I don't know how she's feeling on the inside - I'm guessing shes feeling worried and scared though and it breaks my heart knowing that this is something that we're always going to have to deal with, until it can't be dealt with anymore. 

Look after yourself Savy, and thank you for your message xx

Hello

Aww yes, it is a very anxious wait. It’s something you can never really prepare. 

How are you doing? Have you had any updates? 

I think you’re mum is coping with it as much as she can, she is probably is hurting a lot more then we know. Our pain feels like a lot, so I can’t imagine what they are feeling and thinking about the whole situ. My mum doesn’t really share how she feels and I think she’s trying to stay strong for us. It’s lovely to hear she’s doing her day to day and spending time with her nieces.

I am feeling slightly upset about my mums situation and just the speed of how things are progressing so quickly and wish I could do more. The oncologist team came to visit her in hospital and they said at the moment she is too weak for chemo, specially now where is not eating full meals too and just been bed bound. So she’s been put on fast track discharge to go into a nursing home next week for now and they will check in on her.

A part of me just feels she’s had no chance to try and fight it off yet and the doctors have almost just written her off because of how the situ is. At least I know she’s going into a place where they will be looking after her needs.

Hello to both of you .  My mum has been diagnosed with stage four breast cancer in her Bones after a four month carry on. It's simply not good enough 

Can I ask how you both cope? Some days I feel like my whole body is slow, I've lost interest in life in general and other days i feel like I'm okay. Hit a bad patch just now 

my mum is bloody amazing.  Says she's going to beat the diagnosis and I believe she will live longer than the prognosis but I can't seem to come to Terms with it all 

thinking of you both x