My mother-in-law has just been diagnosed with late stage cancer and is going in for surgery in 2 weeks. The surgeon is operating to prolonge her life and has said its uncurable but will give her a good quality of life for 'up tp five years' she's OK with that as she's an amazing brave woman but my wife is understandably absolutely distraught at the thought of loosing her mum. I've never felt so useless as I don't know what to say to my wife or her mum. Nothing I can say will make it any better or solve anything so I don't say much about it when my wife talks to me. She knows I care but my upbringing is just to deal with things and 'stiff upper lip.' What do you say to a wife to support her when her mum has such a bad diagnosis?