Mother just diagnosed with salivary gland cancer

Specifically parotid gland cancer.

There was an 80% chance it was a benign tumor but of course, that wasn't to be and she was diagnosed on the 16th.

I live with her so it's very hard. She's in shock and can't really talk about it much. She hardly sleeps and likes to go out on walks. I was terrified about her and about finances and everything but I feel I need to keep a lid on all that. I feel like me panicking helps no one.

Now she's concerned about the fact it's Christmas and with the new covid strain she worries about getting effective treatment. She also worries about getting the news they won't treat her: either because she's old (69), or on blood thinners, or because they tell her the cancer is too advanced.

She wants me to research second opinions and private care because she fears they'll tell her they won't do anything. 

Literally, all I can find is that you talk to your NHS cancer doctor and ask him to refer you somewhere. God knows about the money but I guess they'll give you an estimation or something.

Best wishes

David

  • Hi, 

    sorry to find you on here, asking for advice.

    I havnt got much experience with salivary cancers /mass. But the process is similar in most cancer diagnosis.

    They need to work out if it is defo cancer - tests , biopsy , spread before discussing any type of treatment option. 

    the hospital usually have a multiple disciplinary meeting (MDT meeting) -in which results get discussed with lots of specialists, chemo doctors, Radiotherapy doctors, surgeons etc and come up with best treatment plan.  Try nit to worry till you know what your dealing with.

    My dad had prostate cancer (highest grade ) and had little hope as it had spread and had cancer in lymph node which wa s the size of a grapefruit in his tummy. He was given no treatment other than hormone injection and lasted for 8years.

    If it does turn out to be cancer the you can contact McMillan -they can assist with financial guidenace. Benefits advice. Look into getting pension early. Etc etc. They worked a treat with my dad. His company said he wasn't entitled to any pension( dad was 59 at time of diagnosis ) still had mortgage. Solicitor managed to get money owed and dad had no finiancial worries.

    Try and stay positive 

    Efffie x