Hey Ruth. I had a lumpectomy and sentinal lymph node removal on 2/12.. I've found myself crying a few times for what I feel is no reason.  But ultimately we are only human and the reality of having bc  surgery does hit home and our emotions pour out. It's good to cry in my opinion, let it out. As regards pain, the first week was the worst, I was scared to move!! I started my exercises and they've helped. My worst pain is under my arm and down the back of my arm, it's still so sore but manageable.  I've noticed a cord under my arm too so I'm being really conscious and keeping up with my stretching. I'm sure it all gets easier with time. Sending love, Donna 

Hi just wanted to say I felt exactly the same when I was diagnosed on 27 th September. I had had a clear mammogram but could feel a lump , so you can imagine the shock to be told it was grade 2 IDC.
 

I had my lumpectomy and sentinel node biopsy done on 27 th November as I had an MRI that shown something on my thyroid gland, a second lump in my breast and something in my armpit which I imagined was node involvement, hence the 8 week wait. Fortunately after other ultrasounds  the thyroid was nothing of concern, the second lump was a cyst which they drained and the lymph nodes turned out to be clear. 
 

I have since had my results from the surgery biopsies and I have grade 3 IDC not grade 2 as first told and my nodes are clear.

I am optimistic now but felt exactly the same as you. I think as this journey progresses there are ups and downs but we have to put our trust in the specialists which I know us difficult at times because we are in the land of the unknown. 
I am now waiting again for the oncotype result to see what my next treatment will be but I keep telling myself that whatever I need to have I will as this is not a negotiable situation for me. 
I just what the best treatment so I can get back to normal and start feeling strong and in control again.

I hope it helps to let you know that you are not on your own in the way you feel and the experiences you are having. I'm sure at some point we will get there.

   Love  Kiera 123 

Hi Donna,

Thank you for your kind words. Under my arm is the worst too. It's like a stinging pain. I noticed a numbness under my arm above the wound yesterday too.  I am doing my exercises and like you say, they are helping. 

Have you had a date for a follow up appointment yet. I was told mine would be two weeks after surgery but I haven't had an appointment yet. I think some of my anxiety is coming from not knowing what I will be told and worrying whether the outcome will be different from the original plan of radiotherapy and medication. 

Sending love back to you too. 

Ruth x

Hi Keira,

Thank you for your reply, your kind words and reassurance. It does help to know that I am not alone in the way I am feeling and that it's normal to feel the way I am. 

I am now waiting for the results from my surgery biopsy. I was told that I would have a follow up appointment in two weeks so I am expecting it to be next week or it could even be the week after Christmas now. The breast cancer nurse did say to me that my grade may go up. Will that change anything for you in terms of the proposed treatment plan or does that all depend on the reuslts of the Oncotype test ? I'm not sure if my 'lump' will be sent for the Oncotype test. Did they tell you that at your follow-up appointment. One of the hardest things I am finding is the waiting for resutls and the 'what next'. 

Whilst I feel anxious and a little frightened, I am like you - I want the best treatment. I will take whatever they say I need to have to minimise the risk of recurrence and get back to normal. It felt so surreal and as though it's not happening to me up until my surgery. But with the wounds, the soreness and bruises I can't hide from it anymore!

Love Ruth x

Never underplay what you have been through. You have/had bc, so you're allowed to feel emotional over the whole episode. I'd see the point if you had been told it was a small boil or something equally benign, but yeah, you've been through the mill.

My wife underplays her diagnosis at times too.  Feels guilty because she kinda feels fine on chemo thus far and other than constipation, hasn't really been through the wars as of yet. All you ladies here are inspirational in your own little ways.

Hi Ruth. I'm back tomorrow for my folliow up appointment.  I know the dressing will be coming off so that's scary for me as I had pagets disease so had to have my nipple removed  too. I also know it's unlikely I'll get the results as the surgeon told me they're coming back about 3 weeks after surgery and I'll only be 2 weeks. Yes the numbness and soreness down the back of and under your arm can last a while, I've been told. On the plus side, all being well,  we'll be cancer free!! Xx 

Hi Ruth,  I don't know how the new grade will affect my treatment as I didn't have a plan other than the surgery before the results if that makes sense. 
It will all depend on the oncotype result as this looks at the genes in the actual tumour tissue taken during surgery. This is why we cant look at similar diagnosis and work out what we might behaving in the way if treatment, everybody s tumours are made up differently.

The breast care nurse rang me about a week after my surgery to tell me the grade and node status, it was on this call she said I would be having the oncotype test done.  I went for my follow up yesterday post surgery and they gave me more info on the oncotype test and told me it had already been requested last week so hopefully the result should be back in 3 weeks.

yes you are right it's the waiting that is definitely the hardest part with all this however, I feel more settled waiting now as the cancer has been removed so I'm nowhere near as anxious as I have been in the past waiting for things to happen. I think it's a better place to be for the time being anyway.

I try to focus on the good prognosis outcomes as much as I can and take comfort in the fact that the cancer I have is usually very treatable.

my wounds have both heeled well, I don't have any pain, maybe a bit if sensitivity around the node biopsy wound if anything and it's only been 2 week. 
we will get there my Dear it just takes time and a journey through a not very pleasant process but we can do it! 
 

Love Kiera xx

Hi,

Thank you for reminder that we shouldn't underplay how we feel. It is very easy to do that. For me, I think it is because i feel physcially well and I put a brave face a lot of the time for my husband and children, telling them I'm ok when perhaps I'm not. I know I do this to stop them worrying about me. 

I hope you wife continues to feel well during her chemo. 

Hi Donna,

I hope your appointment tomorrow goes ok. I will be thinking of you. 

Ruth x