Be honest with them imo.  Like, what you get told by the doctors, tell them if they want to know. If kids feel like you're withholding stuff, that's when the worry takes hold and they can go into themselves.  If they feel you're being up front with them, they tend to be fine as they feel more in control.  The 5 and 3 year old, I'm not sure how you go explaining the truth to them.  But the older ones, yeah, be truthful.

Don't go making wild promises.  For example, if you or the doctors don't know how the treatment is gonna pan out or whatever else, don't go telling them everything will go without a hiccup. Again, we were told if we paint a rosy picture and she has awful days, they'll notice and will no longer feel confident in what you are telling them.

A horrid part of it too, my wife initially came home and said hers was 100% nailed on to be cured. No one said that to her, but she told our daughter that. Her cancer is very likely to be blasted with the treatment, but on the 5% chance it isn't, we'd be left with one very angry daughter.  Probably blaming her mum, myself and herself should things not go as planned. So I spoke to my wife and asked her if she would rephrase that the next day.

All in all, she seems relaxed about it. We still hear her laughing a lot with her friends. She had her cry with us on the day and the week after, but that's all past now as far as the daughter is concerned.  All this was said to us by a McMillan nurse, cancer nurse and the oncologist.

Thank you. We are certainly going to honest with the older 2.  I had planned on getting pictures of the mammogram and ultrasound to show them where they lumps are and what they look like. 

The 5 year old is quite switched on so I think we'll need to tell her on a need to know basis. 

But I'm glad they'll have the support from school. 

Our daughter is 14.  The School has been great, and I think that is mostly down to her guidance teacher. Coincidently, his wife had just finished treatment for BC 2 months prior, so he got it 100%.  But teens being teens, she'd rather not be seen talking to teachers.  But she knows she has the school, us and the Mcmillan nurses should she need to talk.  Her friends too.

We dreaded telling her as she has bad health anxiety and worries ALOT.  She has a nut allergy and once had to be rushed into hospital and that has lived with her since.  So she worries. But she has taken all this about her mum very well from what we can tell.  She's really, really close to her mum. We expected her to get more clingy, she hasn't been.  She's just been normal. But maybe it's down to us not living in a household where we allow the doom and gloom to take over.  Her mum was adamant things were gonna be as normal and happy as they had been.  No doubt it's life changing and there are moments, but the good times vastly outweigh the negatives thus far. It's been helped that the chemo she's on has been relatively mild too. The day after she stops the steroids, she crashes, but that's the only day she feels lethargic.