Hello all
im at the year mark on my treatment journey - BC & nodes - triple positive. Now find myself hitting a wall. Have had Chemo / 6 blood transfusions/ lumpectomy - some active cells were then found in lymph node -so radio and tamoxifen -a year of herceptin and have had TDM1 kadcyla - 7 rounds.
Thought I was doing well and we agreed that I seemed to tolerate the kadcyla to start with but last three have been horrendous. I’ve had terrible anxiety - palpitations and find that for about 4 days I can’t eat or hardly sleep...it’s a level of permanent anxiety that I’ve never known before. Then. A week passes - I feel more like myself and by the third week I feel like totally back to normal. But these side effects are really shaking me up. I’m now starting to have panic attacks when I go to the cancer centre and physically want to pull the needle out of my hand and run out. I think I may be developing PTSD..symptoms.
so my dilemma is do I stop kadcyla ( will see onco soon but he has messaged me that I can stop) and live with the knowledge that I may be reducing my chances of survival. My instincts are to stop. It’s feels like my whole self is saying - enough of this poison.
my understanding is that her2 is very aggressive and herceptin gives you a 77% chance of survival but kadcyla ups that to 88% . Obs I’d take the 88 over the 77 but I feel like I need to halt this as I feel myself unravelling. Maybe it’s the successive treatments building up? I don’t know. I know I’ve come so far and don’t want to be beaten by this but....it’s a tough decision.