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Anticipatory grief versus post death grief

Kbass
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Hi

my mother passed away 3 years ago.  I had 3 years preparation for her terminal cancer.  I have struggled since her death as I feel I have not grieved. No tears. No pictures up in my home.  I just got on with it. From the day she died I have felt "stuck".   I guess my question is, was I going through anticipatory grief, not recognising it.  I feel in the same mode/ mood/place 3 years after her death as I did for the 3 years leading up to it.  I have felt the same for the 3 before and the 3 after.  Just staunch, accepting, but feel stuck in a time zone.  Can anyone help me understand as I am numb for 6 years now.  Hoping someone can assist as if I google what emotions after anticipatory death and the death occurrence there's nothing much to explain what next? 

  • Hello Kbass

    I'm sorry to hear that you're continuing to struggle with the loss of your Mum. Grief is a natural process, but it can be devastating and sometimes it can be complicated. 

    It's entirely possible that you dealt with some of your emotions through anticipatory grief but as you're feeling stuck I wonder if having some professional support would be a good idea. You might like to have a look at the website for an organisation called Cruse. They are able to offer various different forms of grief support and you may find that a few sessions of talking with a grief support worker can be of great benefit. 

    I hope this helps you find the support you need to move forwards with things. 

    Best wishes, 
    Jenn
    Cancer Chat moderator 

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