Hi everyone, I just felt the need to write stuff, my heart is broken, I feel so devastatingly alone , lost and angry. It's five months since I lost my husband, and although I seem to be coping on the outside, I'm struggling on the inside. I'm sick of saying, I'm ok , when people ask . I know they are being nice , but they don't really want to hear the real answer. So its bottling things up , until I'm alone . Our family and friends are amazing, but they all just keep saying, it'll get easier, he's watching over us , he wouldn't want you sad etc . That doesn't help . I just feel like punching a wall . I m not an angry person , but why does life have to be so cruel. He suffered so much . That's all I keep thinking about , and how much I didn't want to lose him . When people mean well and say he's out of pain, Don't say anything, because that doesn't help . He's not here with me . He pushed me away towards the end , I think they don't want us to love them as much , so we feel less loss /pain . But it makes us hurt even more . They are the ones losing their life and need our comfort, and they seem to push us away to protect us . I love him and miss him so much , I hope we do meet again in a better place my love xxx until then I'll try to live and make you proud. My birthday without you was so sad , I put a brave face on for our family, I just hope you were with me darl . I love you .
