Really struggling, I lost my wonderful husband , in January to lung cancer/pancoast tumour, watched him battle it for 2 years , the end came really suddenly, even though I was expecting it , I wasn't expecting it ! The loss is overwhelming, I sleep with his ashes for comfort, I just miss him so much , every day is an effort. I'm back at work , to try and carry on , for our three grown sons , and grandchildren, but everyone seems to expect me to be ok , I cry so much my chest hurts , I talk to him constantly, I know I sound like I'm dwelling and wanting sympathy, I really don't want that , I honestly feel frustrated at what's happened. I feel even more guilty, because my brother passed away early February, one week after we cremated my husband, I'm devastated, losing two people I love so much , I haven't even grieved properly for my brother, as it means not thinking about my husband. My heart is in bits , I thought it would get a little easier to breathe, but I feel I'm getting more anxious about losing them. I don't want medication, as I don't want to blur my emotions, I owe them my grief and tears , but dear god it hurts so much . I'm just writing this , to get it out . I hope people don't mind . I know everyone on this site is hurting/ grieving/ just coping, people say it's a journey, it's not a journey, it's a nightmare.
