I lost my husband to lung cancer last week he died the day before his treatment was due to start i only had 4 weeks to come to terms with the fact he had cancer then I lost him the problem is I can only think of the last 3 days of his life not the 20 wonderful year's we spent together .
The last week of his life whent down hill on the Monday he had a blood test to make shore he was ok to start treatment and I had to give him a strip wash it was the first time I had to do itand it upset us both as he was a proud man and all I could think was i can't do it as I didn't know what I was doing that night we had to go straight to hospital as his sodium levels were low he told me he was really scared but I just told him that they were just going to do some tests and send him home he never left hospital 2 days later he was gone
All I feel is gilt because I said i couldn't handle it
