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First Christmas without my dad

Matella.
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Hello,

 

This year will be my first christmas without my dad. He died 8th August very peacefully with us all around him. He had Pancreatic Cancer, stage four that had spread to his liver, spleen and lymph nodes. His body slowly started to shut down but he thankfully had no pain and didn't know he was dying which I am forever grateful for. 
I'm looking for some help and advice on here about christmas and how everyone else has coped at christmas without their parent/loved one. As a family we are going to do christmas completely different this year so it's not horrifically obvious that my dad isn't there. I know it will be extremely hard this christmas and so will all the others. I am completely lost without my dad, we were so close. He was only 61 when he passed and I am only 23 and I really don't know how I am going to carry on without my dad, I miss him so much and my heart breaks everyday. Cancer is so cruel, it was only eight weeks from diagnoses to him passing and I just cannot get my head around it yet. Anyway I could go on and on but I'm not going to. If someone could just give me some advice about how to handle christmas without him that would be great.
Thank you x

  • Hello Matella. 
    After the loss of a loved one "firsts" are often difficult times; first birthday, first Christmas, first anniversary and so it's natural that you're feeling anxious about how you will cope at Christmas this year. 
    It sounds as if you've already spoken as a family about your plans for the festive period this year and often changing things can help the day to pass more gently. 

    There is someinformation on the Cruse website about coping at Christmas with some tips that may help you get through things. But I think the most important points are to remember that there is no right nor wrong way to feel over Christmas and that it is important to be kind to yourself and not expect too much. 

    Whatever you decide to do over the festive period, we will be here and there will no doubt be others in the community who are experiencing their first Christmas without a loved one. You will not be alone. 

    Best wishes, 
    Jenn
    Cancer Chat moderator

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