Hello Debrar

It's good to hear that you're 8 years on from your treatment but I'm sorry to hear about how much it has impacted on your daily quality of life. 
Have you spoken to your GP or anyone about your mental health? I wonder if talking with a counsellor or psychologist might help give you some coping strategies and set you on a path to improving things. You could also give your local Maggie's centre a call as they're able to offer phone support. They do also have some online relaxation and exercise classes that they're running which could help you connect with others outside the home. 
It's good to hear that you have support at home from your partner. I'm sure this is a great help. Being home alone all day makes time pass very slowly and the extra time can inevitably lead to your thoughts wandering. In terms of finding something to help keep you busy and take some of the focus away from other things in your life, perhaps you could look at home based volunteering opportunities such as telephone befriending or maybe taking a course. Lots of local colleges are running online Zoom type courses in the next academic year due to the uncertainty around Covid so this could be another way to think about connecting with people outside the home. 

I think though that it wouldn't be a bad idea to chat to someone about how you're feeling and I know that if you wanted to talk to one of our nurses they'ed be happy to offer some support and advice. They're available Monday to Friday 9am to 5pm on 0808 800 4040. 

Keep in touch with us Debrar and let us know how you're getting on. 

Best wishes, 
Jenn
Cancer Chat moderator