This cancer mullarkey is the most awful thing. 

I know how it takes it’s toll on your relationship, when my husband was diagnosed with cancer in June this year, we were both strong, positive and determined we would beat this cancer.

The whole way through he never lost his fight, but since his treatment finished, he’s made my life hell, I’ve done everything for him and I get nothing from him, he has barely spoken to me in three weeks, it’s a battle to get him to shower, or change his clothes. All he says is I want silence,  it is soul destroying and it’s difficult for us other halves! I am on the verge of packing my bags and leaving him, it’s destroying me but right now I don’t know what else to do. I was heart broken on Tuesday, I sobbed my heart out and he just stood up, left the room and said i’m going to smoke. So I understand how this vile horrible cancer can destroy relationships.

I tried to talk to him before and he just told me be silent, i’m apologising for things i’ve not done wrong and he just said it’s my character, my bad behaviour! When I asked what happened to his fight he just says I don’t know or we’ll see.

we have another two weeks to wait until we see his consultant then another six weeks to wait and see if the treatment has worked.

I don’t actually think he would care if I left, in fact he’d probably be relieved. 

I know how it feels I don’t want to leave but at the moment it feels like the only solution.

Have you had any contact since she left? Is it an option to meet and talk?

Hi the sad thing is even if you beat cancer it has a way of destroying your life. Chemo made me depressed and as much as I tried it wasn't good enough obviously because I was told to leave. I get uncontrollable anxiety and depression now but I hide it and always try to paint a smile of my face. I've tried so hard to get her back but she just doesn't want to know she doesn't seem to care either which is the hardest thing. I really hope you get things sorted because this cancer roller-coaster is very lonely and one day he will realise what he's put you though and it will be too late and that's when the real pain will happen for him. 

Thanks for the reply Gaz, 

truth of the matter is pretty much like your wife to be, he doesn’t care, all of this ismy fault and you know what if I walked he wouldn’t care, he wouldn’t come after me he would just let me walk away.

He wants to be alone, he has a son who is 25 and that’s all he cares about. 

I hope and pray your wife to be comes back and it can be worked out.

Are you getting any help from anywhere??

It sounds like he's gone into his own version of survival mode and wants to shut the world out which on the outside seems very cold very selfish but in his head maybe he's trying to protect you by pushing you away. I'm starting counselling next week and hopefully starting some meds. She's made it clear that if I can't just be her friend then don't contact her so I've gone from having cancer to losing my mum to losing my beautiful wife to be in the space of a year and it's got to much. My anxiety is crippling don't sleep and have nightmares constantly. I just wish she had held on a little longer to see it was the chemo and cancer that made me depressed and we could of moved forward and now be planning our wedding.