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Struggling

Al789
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I've just turned 29. Only a few months ago I had a full hysterectomy. 

I only feel sad now and again. I sometimes feel like I want children, but never got to that stage in a relationship to even think about it. 

The things I'm struggling with most: I play sport, and a lot of it. When I go to the gym, people i train with don't understand why i can't lift the weights i used to. They don't understand why everything hurts. 

They don't understand why my broken finger hurts so much more than theirs. They don't understand why I bruise more, why I bleed more, why I get injured more..

They don't understand why today I'm too weak to take part. They don't understand that I'm too hot. 

The words 'what have you got to be stressed about' were actually used. 

I've never said this out loud. I won't allow myself to be that person everyone tiptoes around. 

I'm struggling from time to time. That's all. 

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    Hello Al789, 

    Your message will strike a chord with many members of our community who will completely understand how you are feeling because they have themselves been or they currently find themselves in a similar place. They will understand above all that others around them don't always seem to be aware or to fully grasp what is going on. You have written this beautifully and I am sure your authenticity will move many here. 

    Just wanted you to know we are all here for you and so many here understand exactly what you mean when you write  with such great sincerity : "I am struggling from time to time. That's all"

    Best wishes, 

    Lucie,  Cancer Chat Moderator 

     

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    Hi Al,

    Are they aware that you’re recovering from cancer? I’m afraid my response to “what have you got to be stressed about” would get me banned from cancer chat! 

    If they’re not aware, or may have forgotten, you could just quietly drop it into conversation along the lines of - “I thought I’d be back to normal by now ... after all it’s X months/years since my cancer operation”. You don’t need to mention the hysterectomy if you’re not comfortable with that but cancer affects just about everyone one way or another so people will be able to relate to that.

    If you don’t tell them, then they’ll continue to make ignorant comments mainly because they are ignorant of your situation. 

    All the best

    Dave

     

  • Offline in reply to davek

    Do you really need to say why? . I really do not want to go into the reasons with people I do not  know well and not even with some I do .I am saying that I recently  needed an internal operation which has slowed me down for the present. Still getting back to fitness. If they press I say bad fibroids.

     

     

     

     

     

     

  • Offline in reply to davek

    Hi, 

    Thank you for taking the time to read, and reply to my post. 

    I really appreciate the effort. I have thought about what you've said. Unfortunately I am that person who won't keep bringing it up.

    I would much rather put on a brave face even though inside, every tackle, every ball carry, every kick, every ruck, maul, it kills me. The pain that runs through my body when I play can make me want to spend days in bed. But I'll push through. I've managed to play a lot of sport since May. Perhaps as doctors have said too soon, but i can't sit around and let this stop me. 

    People think I'm crazy. But if i let it stop me from playing sport then it's won. This is a game and i have to win. No room for negotiation here. 

    So with this being the person I am, I just have to wear the smile every day and continue to be the person everyone knows. 

    There's time to frown and pout behind closed doors! 

  • Offline in reply to Al789

    Hi a1789 have you thought you could still be a bit stressed, and you haven't been exercising as much you want to keep going but don't push yourself to much give your body a chance to get strong and fit again it does get easier just time to heal remember it's physical and emotional, best wishes.. Billy 

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