Hi

Firstly any help/Advice or just someone having been through this would be greatly appreciated.

My thoughts are with all those recently diagnosed or going through treatment.

2014 I began having constant problems with my bowels. 2 years of g.p visits and diagnoses ranging from ibs,piles,low fibre diet, seat at work followed. 3rd Dec 2016 a locum takes 1 look at me and urgently refers me to local colorectal unit. I'm continually thankful to him. 

Diagnosed 12th Dec with anal cancer and 22nd Dec told it is stage 3 and has spread to my lymph nodes. I felt extremely ashamed and embarrassed. Whatever people say anal anything is a taboo topic.

I refused to know details or ask questions. I powered through treatment refusing to think about cancer. Fortunately June 2017 I'm told the treatment worked and I know I'm extremely lucky. 

I was left with severe bowel damage. I have no control at all. My old life has gone. Each time I've prepared for permanent colostomy a problem has occurred. Diagnosed with diabetes and need to take insulin, very high blood  pressure and liver issues. 

I feel lost, I've only recently fully accepted I had Cancer. Life threatening cancer. I'm mourning for the life I've lost. I feel bad I dare to moan about it when others are suffering, have terminal diagnosis or have lost battle with Cancer.

Has anyone else been through anything similar? Why 2 years later is this happening? Am I just feeling sorry for myself?

Best

Anna