I lost my mum through cancer march 27th 2018 at 214pm i in last few days am struggling more not sure if it is due to two people in last few weeks i know dying and has triggered something in me. I feel in the last year that i just don't want to be here. But the cat keeps me going. I have lost over 8 people  the last 3 years and i think I am or have delayed grieve I seem to be ok when working but just been sitting here the last hour crying my eyes out. Don't get me wrong I feel like I am in a catch 22 sometimes feel ok or I tell myself I am ok. I try to avoid looking at photos of my mum and for the 1st time on Monday this week I did and have been really more upset about this since. Maybe cause I know it is real. I feel I got no one to speak to I feel I am a burden on my friends who by the way most of them have told me to get a grip. Is it wrong to be feeling this pain now.