Oh my dear, what a sad story.  I really feel for you as you explained how he deteriorated so quickly with one thing after another failing to halt his pain and agitation.  I feel that you were certain to have been a loving wife showering him with love and care as he deteriorated.  Now you have been left alone.  You don't say whether you have children or other close family but please talk about him to family and friends rather than bottle up your pain within yourself.  There is a section called Coping with Grief on this website which might resonate with you.  My very best wishes as you do your best to cope.

Hi there, I read your message and just want to share my dads story with the driver. My dad passed away Friday after being diagnosed only 2 weeks earlier with stomach and liver cancer that had spread. He too was on oral meds and the oramorph was not touching his pain either, hence the driver. I was really worried about pain for my dad especially as He was about 5 stone when he passed. The driver was started the Friday before and that too was increased daily. My dad was very brave and I think had survived managing his pain himself but by now he was making it clear when the driver was not enough and an injection of morphine would be given. I noted the colour of my dad eyes being yellow too and that time was precious. Like your husband my dad was agitated particulalry during the day before he died,restless legs etc but with one last increase he was so comfortable and slept that night so well. He continued to squeeze my hand up until dinnertime of the day he passed so I know he would have made it clear if there was any pain. Please just think of him as being free from that pain now and in a better place watching over you. He wouldn't want you upset, I know it so so hard, today i have cried several times, looked at photos and then remembered him as the healthy, happy person he was. My dad meant everything to me, we spoke everyday 3 times or more daily and really was my world! I agree it is so so hard, I keep checking my phone thinking he has text me and it hits me again. Your husband knew and still knows how much you love him and would not want to see you sad. It's absolutely normal for us to cry it will take time to heal, but remember to take care of yourself too. X