Hello Aileen,

I offer my sincere sympathy on the tragic loss of your husband. You have not just lost your beloved partner, but had a terrible shock, at his eventual diagnosis and the speed with which the end came. It takes time to come to terms with all that has happened, so it is still early days for you yet.

Do you have any family or friends who can support you at this sad time? Living on your own is a lonely time, particularly at night. It may be a little early yet, but the best thing to do is to find some pastimes which take you out and about and help you to meet other people. It is not easy to do things on your own when you have always done everything together before. I don’t know what age you are, but it also gets more difficult to make friends as you get older. You really have to make an effort to get out and about, but it is well worth it.

To lose your 16 year old border collie just after your husband seems doubly unfair. Would you consider taking on another dog? This would take you out in the fresh air every day and force you out on days that you don’t always feel like going out.

You might feel different about the caravan in time. Do you have any friends or family who could join you there? I know that it is difficult, as I am sure that there are memories of your husband wherever you go. The difficulty is in letting go of these memories and starting to make new ones.

This probably sounds very crass. It is not meant to be. You will never forget your husband and you will always hold him dear to your heart. Your memories will stay with you, but living your life will become a priority again and you will gradually come to terms with all that has happened.  It does get easier with time, but everyone grieves in a different way. There is no telling how long it will take you, but it will come.

I feel for you. You are welcome here any time. There is always someone to lend a listening ear on good or bad days.

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx