My dad didnt get any treatment for his kidney cancer? why

last may my Dad was diagnisied with a what the doctors said was a possiable kidney cancer.(the mass was on top of his kidney not inside) He had no symptoms and it was only found after a scan on his bowel due to a blood test showed a marker was high. He was told that because he had ischaemic heart diease and A.F, It was not possiable for him to have the kidney removed. I went with my parents to the second consultant appointment and we was told that he should live his life as before and come back only if he gets any pain,blood in his urine or a cough that will not go away!!! so we as a family thought well it cant be that bad of a cancer and all the letters that followed only said a 'possiable kidney cancer'. My dad was not in great health however he tried to carry on as best he could. he and my mum loved thier holidays abroard and tried to get insurance to travel but as soon as you mentioned the word cancer the price shot up more that the holiday and there was so many questions about what stage his cancer was or what treatment he was having. this January my dad was struck down with a nasty cold that turned into a chest infection. He had 3 lots of anti biotics and nothing would shift it.He often looked very poorly and in pain,although when you asked him he was fine.He was finally sent by his GP for a chest xray, at the end of march. A week later i was called by my mum as my dad seemed to be very confused and unwell. He was admitted and we was told that he had stage 4 lung liver and kidney cancer. he died 5 days later. We where all and still are in complete shock and angry. there are so many questions that we dont have the answers to. IF THE CONSULTANT HAD SAID GO LIVE YOUR LIFE COS YOU HAVE NOT GOT LONG LEFT,WE WOULD HAVE MADE IT SPECIAL BUT WE AS NOT AND WE WAS ROBBED OF THIS. is this normal????

  • Welcome to Cancer Chat, michellemc.

    I'm very sorry to hear about your dad.

    I can appreciate why you are feeling angry right now and I'm sure this is something many people here will be able to relate to so I hope you will find the support you need among our members.

    Unfortunately, I don't have an answer for the question you ask but I want to share a link from our web page about coping with grief and I hope that this might help a little.

    Post as much as you need, michellemc, even if only to vent, we're here for you.

    Warm wishes,

    Renata, Cancer Chat Moderator

  • Hi Michelle,

    So sorry to read about your Dad and your unanswered questions, it's bad enough losing a parent without all these unanswered questions on top of everything else.

    No, this isn't normal, though a lot of people (including me) are on a "watchful waiting" regime for various reasons. The only people who will be able to answer your questions properly are his consultant and the the team who were providing his care. It would be worth writing to them to ask any questions you have. At the very least, you are owed an explanation about how lung cancer wasn't mentioned until it was far too late. 

    I'm not a doctor or anything, but it is possible that his lung cancer was a recent development, maybe as secondaries to his renal cancer. The only way to know for certain would be to look at earlier X-rays, CT or MRI scans to see whether anything was missed at that time - assuming he had these,mwhich it sounds like he didn't. 

    Best wishes

    Dave

  • hi Dave,

    thank you for your reply. Dad had a chest xray in late febuary  because he had the lingering chest infection and a locom GP asked for it. that showed a shadow. His GP did nothing but  a consultant he was seeing for his arthritis saw it on the computer and told him he needed it checking. he requested a emergency CT scan. we waited 3 week to get an appointment which never came. When he was ammitted we mentioned this in the resus room of the A and E department and they sent him for one that night once he was stable. And it just snowballed from there. We are so cross its like because my dad was classed as disabled and he had a heart problem he was not seen as worth treating and that is just not far.you see on the tv about going to your dr if you have a cough for any longer than a few weeks as it could be a sign.