Hi Seaside,

What a good positive idea trying to make memories to treasure rather than just waiting to die.

I know that a terminal diagnosis is so difficult to deal with and you are to be commended in thinking this way.

Your dad may not appreciate meals out if he is not feeling so good. Have you discussed this with him to see what he might like to do? Some people like to make a bucket list of things they want to do and then you can gradually work your way through them.

Bear in mind that dad’s health is likely to deteriorate over the next couple of months to the extent that he may not be fit enough to get out and about, so do what you can as soon as you can. Do you have access to a wheelchair or can you get one for him? – his  GP should be able to arrange this. It makes getting about much easier and should ease the burden on his legs and his lungs.

Your pseudonym conjures up the first suggestion I have – many people like to have a visit to the seaside and maybe even fit in an ice cream whilst there. Trips to a theatre or cinema or even the pub all seem to come high on peoples’ lists too. Museums are also popular. Even a walk around a nice park with maybe a cup of tea at the end is a pleasant way of spending time with him. What are his interests? For example if he has been a gardener a visit to a garden centre can be a pleasant way of spending a few hours. Don’t forget to wrap him up well if you are taking him out, as he is likely to feel the cold a lot more now, especially if he is sitting statically in a wheelchair, rather than walking under his own steam.

My mother was reluctant to use a wheelchair initially, but it opened up a whole new world to her when we got one for her. We spent time visiting friends and relations and even going for a drive to some of her favourite haunts.

 I am sure that others will come along with more novel ideas.

I hope that you both manage to get time to make some lasting memories

Thinking of you both.

Kind regards,

Jolamine xx