Hi,

Yes what you've described does resonate. My wife had a brain haemorrhage in 2013 for which she had keyhole surgery and stereotactic radio surgery. She is now almost fully recovered and feels she should be glad to have survived. She now suffers from chronic fatigue with very similar symptoms to those you have described. The root cause hasn't really been diagnosed yet, but I do wonder whether it could be a form of PTSD. 

Meanwhile, we live in the shadow of my cancer and the ever present anxiety that it will start growing again which gnaws away at my subconscious mind.

I hope you find a way to get over this.

Best wishes

Dave

Dave, thanks for replying and sad to hear about your cancer. It's a bummer, eh? Strange that you mention PTSD, because that is exactly what has been rolling round my head. I have googled it and can't decide if I fit the profile, I don't have violent flashbacks, but I do feel a bit traumatised! I often think, "What just happened there?" So many incidents like collapsing in public, and going to a routine oncology appointment only to be hospitalised on the spot. My GP is clearly sceptical when I talk about wanting to stay in bed, and having concentration lapses. Like others, she clearly thinks I should be over it.

Best wishes to you and your wife. S x

Hi Vainbear

Yep I feel much the same a lot of the time, some days are better than others, I have lost contact with many people mostly from a failure to engage on my part. I often don't have the energy or desire to go out and socialise in the evening or go to a party or music concert. But occasionally I do. In the end the invitations tail off and the longer you leave it the harder it is to get back. Its also hard to get enthusiastic even about pastimes I enjoy. The symptoms all add up to depression but having suffered that pre cancer I know its not that. I discussed it with the oncologist, his suggestion was paradoxically, to gradually increase physical activity. I have to force myself to do this but I think there is some improvement, and once I actually get going I do enjoy the activity. Next day though I am often pooped and need a day to recover, I do though get out of bed each day at 6:00 as I think laying in doesn't do you any favours. Well you are not alone in how you feel I hope you can find you way forward. Kim

Hi, I am really sorry to hear how having breast cancer has affected you. I feel that I must be one of the lucky ones who has not obviously suffered as dramatically as you have done. I don't think you ever really get over it, but you just deal with having had cancer as best you can. I have always been a strong person and a believer in what ever life throws at me that I will get through it. I never in a million years ever imagined that cancer would be something I would ever get and other people got it but not me. The strange thing was I knew when I found a tiny lump exactly what it was and what the diagnosis was going to be. I was more worried about loosing my hair if I had to have chemotherapy than I was about having cancer. Pretty vain I know but I do love my hair and at least that was something that didn't happen as a result of having cancer. In saying this I am not making light of what is a terrible disease and having had a  mastectomy and implant it could have been a lot worse. I try not to dwell on what has happened and concentrate on the future because I'd like to think I still have one post cancer. I hope at some time you will have that opportunity and not because you're just going through the motions but because it is something you want to do

The very best advice I had was from my oncologist who told me to not let cancer own me. It's difficult because my life has changed dramatically. I can't manage a long walk without a day in bed afterwards. I have constant pain from radiotherapy damage to my ribs. I have tamoxifen side effects but cancer does not own me. Nor does it you.

Just remind yourself that almost all drugs are poisonous in the right dosage - even aspirin and paracetamol :-)